Didn’t know my boyfriend had a spouse and children

Dear Pastor,

Your section in THE STAR is my favourite. There is where I turn to every time I get a copy of the publication.

I am 22 years old and all my friends read your column. Sometimes I say to myself, these girls don't have any sense. How could they do these things? But I am in a situation now that is causing me to take back my words. I am in love with a man who is twice my age. I did not expect him to trick me. When we first met, he told me that he had a girlfriend, but they were not getting along, so he broke up with her. I believed him. He used to pick me up from work every evening and took me home. He used to go home and freshen up and come back to see me.

One evening I asked him why he couldn't just go to his house after picking me up, shower, and then spend time with me instead of making a double trip. He said he was not ready to take me to his house as yet. So I did not push the point. I could not believe that the reason why he was not taking me to his house was because his children's mother was still living there. One evening he took me to Port Royal to purchase fish. A friend of his children's mother saw us and told her. So she became aware of me. I do not know how she got my number, but she called me and asked whether I am seeing her man. I asked her who was her man and she gave me his name. I almost fainted because she told me how long they have been going together and how many children they have. She said that when he comes home in the evening and is going out again, he was always lying about where he was going.

This man is still living with his children's mother and she said that she is willing to confront him in my presence. I don't want any scandal. I told this man not to come back to see me. But he is still saying that his children's mother and he are not together. I don't know what to do; I don't know who to believe. Give me your advice.

K.M.

Dear K. M.,

I can tell you who to believe. Believe the children's mother who called you about the man you are dating who is her children's father.

Your boyfriend is a liar. End the relationship with him. You are wasting your best years with a man who is not honest with you. He could not take you to his house because he knew that he was living with his children's mother. Get out of this relationship right away.

Pastor