Girl says that my boyfriend got her pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I will be 18 years old soon and I have a boyfriend. My parents know him, but they think that I am too young to have a boyfriend.

My mother said that she did not have a boyfriend until she was nearly 20 years old and he became her husband, who is my father. This guy and I attended the same high school and he comes from a very good home. He used to share his lunch with me. I never told my parents about that. When I was 16, he came to our house. I was alone because my parents had gone to a friend's funeral. I was making a sandwich and he told me he could go out and buy some chicken. This guy's father is a musician and he always has money. So, he went out and bought some chicken and chips and came back to see me. We enjoyed the chicken together and we decided to have sex. I never had sex before, but he had. But he never told me.

I knew that my parents were not going to be in a hurry to come home because the funeral was in Trelawny. We made sure that every door on the house was locked. We played with each other for a long time and we took the chance and had sex. So when my parents told me that I should not have a boyfriend because a boy would force me to have sex, I had already done so.

I am complaining to you now because my boyfriend has let me down and I don't know what to do. He has got involved with another girl who is claiming that she is pregnant for him. But he is saying that it is not true. I am writing this letter with tears in my eyes. I told him that I hate him and he asked me how come. He asked me why I believe the girl instead of him. This girl is someone I know very well. We all attended the same school. She would not have any need to lie.

Now my boyfriend is telling me that if I stop talking to him, he is going to accept the child because he had sex with the girl; the only thing he is not sure of is if the child is his. So now I know that my boyfriend is lying. I do not know what to believe I am confused.

B.J.

Dear B.J.,

Your boyfriend should come clean. He has been lying to you. He knew that he had sexual intercourse with this girl and he knew that it was likely that he impregnated her. So denying it would not help the relationship between the two of you.

The question I would like to ask you is, do you love this man enough to forgive him? If you believe that you can forgive him, both of you should go to see a counsellor and talk about this problem. But I must remind you that the young woman would have a child and this man would always have to see the child occasionally. How would you deal with that?

How can you be sure that he will not continue to be intimate with this woman? This man got caught, so he lied to you. If you decide to remain with him, you should always try not to resent the other woman's child because the child would be innocent in the situation.

Pastor