Friend told my fiancé about my sex secret

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and I am engaged to be married. I have a friend and we grew up together, but our relationship is now strained.

The man I am engaged to has got very close to her and there are things that I told her that she has mentioned to him. I did not expect her to tell him these things. He was always under the impression that he was my first. But I had told her one day that he was not my first. The first guy I had sex with, I did not bleed much. But when I had sex with the man I am going to marry, it was painful and I bled a lot. So I have always considered that this is the guy who took my virginity. We were just talking as very good friends and she went and told my boyfriend and I had to tell him everything.

When I had sex for the first time, I was 16 years old, and when the man tried to enter me, I screamed and pushed him away and he stopped. I told my girlfriend that I will never tell her any secret any more because we were doing girl talk and she cannot keep her mouth shut. She told me that she had an abortion, but I have never told anybody about that because I consider her my friend and I will never let her down.

I don't hate her, but I don't trust her any more. If my boyfriend did not really love me, he would have left me. He said I only had one virginity, so two men could not take my virginity. I had asked her to be the maid of honour at my wedding. But I told my fiance that I don't want her to play that role any more and he said I should not drop her from playing that role because she did not mean to hurt me. She has asked me many times to forgive her for telling my boyfriend what I said to her.

I am still angry with her, but I will listen to my fiance and still allow her to be my maid of honour.

F.M.

Dear F.M.,

Some people talk too much. They cannot be told anything that one may consider to be a secret or anything confidential.

There are some things in life that you should keep to yourself. Your fiance is an intelligent man. I hope that you would treat him right and he will do the same. Don't punish your girlfriend by not having her as your maid of honour. Let her feel that she is a big part of your wedding. Forgive her for the mistake she has made.

Pastor