Upset that my girl bought sex toys

Dear Pastor,

I am in my mid-20s and I am in a relationship with a girl who is 18 years old. I give her money regularly.

I recently found a receipt from a sex shop. She went to the shop and bought herself sex toys. I asked her what was the reason for that and she told me that we need to do things that can spice up our relationship. I thought we were doing well. She said all she need sometime is a little change.

This girl has been having sex from she was very young and she has taught me a number of things. I realised now that she picked up some of these things from what she sees being sold at the shop. I love her very much. She got pregnant once, but she did not carry the baby. I don't hold that against her. I just need some advice on what to do. She has promised that she will not buy any more of these sex aids. I don't plan to leave her, but if you think I should, I will.

I would like to get married before I am 30 and settle down. How can I be sure that she is the type of woman I should consider making a wife? Please for your advice, sir.

C.L.

Dear C.L.,

I will not encourage you to end the relationship with your girlfriend because you have discovered that she visited a sex shop.

Many young people occasionally go to these places to get ideas, as she says, to spice up their relationships. I don't want people to accuse me of encouraging people to be promiscuous. But your girlfriend could have told you that she occasionally visits these places, to find what she thinks is missing in the relationship. The question is, does she go alone, does another girl go with her, or does she go in there to meet men?

I think that if she did not want you to know that she goes to these places, she would have destroyed the receipts. But I could be wrong. Perhaps that was her way of telling you that things are not going well for the both of you. There are changes for both of you to make. So this is the time for serious discussions between the both of you.

You would like to get married before you are 30, so talk these things over with her, and if you feel that you need further help, contact a family counsellor.

Pastor