Dad can’t forgive mom for cheating with his friend

Dear Pastor,

I am a 15-year-old girl and I have a sister who is 17. We are living with our grandmother and father.

We are Christians. We do not attend parties and clubs. We attend church every Sunday and we enjoy doing so. My sister and I are choir members. My father is proud of us and he supports us very well. My sister and I are interested in doing some work in the medical field, and we have been promised help by our church organisation.

My mother and father separated years ago, but they still communicate, and we go abroad to visit her every year. We have tried for a long time to get our parents back together but our father is not interested. He said that our mother cheated on him and he found himself unable to forgive her because she did it with his best friend. He asked his best friend to pick up our mother from the airport and to take her to her destination, which was to our aunt's house. On the journey, his friend had sex with our mother. People saw them on the road and stopped because they thought they were having car problems.

My mother told us that our father should have known that his friend liked her, because he was always putting conversation to her and she finally gave in. My father told our mother that she was lucky he didn't see them and shoot them. He said our mother should have continued to say no to him, because she was old enough to know that some men don't take no for an answer. We still love both of our parents.

My grandmother has raised us as decent young women. People commend us for dressing and speaking well. We speak standard English at home. Although we wear make-up, it is not outrageous.

Thank you for your column, Pastor.

G.

Dear G.,

Your father said that if he had his gun and had seen them together, he would have shot your mother and his friend.

I am glad he did not have his firearm. As I read your letter, I am reminded of a gentleman who came to see me. He caught his wife and his best friend in the very act. The man came home and saw his best friend in his bedroom, on the matrimonial bed, having sex with his wife. He had his firearm with him, but God restrained him and he did not use it. Some folks are very careless and put themselves in great danger.

I am glad that your sister and you have good parents. Your grandmother has had to play the role of mother and you will always be thankful for her and your father. Although your mother has let down the family, always remember that she is your mother and should be respected. Some men seek to take advantage of situations. They only claim to be best friends, but they are always trying to have relationships with the wives of their friends.

I wish you young ladies well.

Pastor