Should I tell my parents I’m pregnant?

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old young woman and I am writing to you because my fiance and I can't come to any good agreement.

I met my fiance a year and a half ago and, when I introduced him to my parents, my mother was not impressed. She's an educator and her academic achievements far surpass my father's. After they questioned my fiance, my mother pulled me aside and asked, "Why would you want to marry a man who isn't educated?"

I explained to her that I want to marry him because I love him. I also shared that some of the so-called educated men who claimed to love me had only one thing on their minds: getting me into bed.

This guy is a mechanic. He is hoping to be certified. It is true he has not gone to university, but he is not a dunce. My father told me that, if I love him from my heart and not from my head, he won't stand in our way. So we got engaged and are planning to get married in April.

Now, both my parents have accepted my fiance as their son-in-law and they are paying for us to go to Dubai for our honeymoon. Unfortunately, I have found myself pregnant. I did not want to get pregnant until after I get married, but it has happened. My fiance is telling me that I should tell my parents that I am pregnant. He is suggesting that, the money that they were planning to give to us to go to Dubai for our honeymoon, they could give it to us to pay down on an apartment. I don't know if it is wise to make that suggestion to my father. I just don't think that it is wise to do so. My mother will not want to hear of such a plan.

My fiance said the money would be given to us anyway, so we should be able to use it as we see fit. I have not yet told my parents that I am pregnant. I have been living with my fiance for the last six months. Kindly give me your opinion.

S.T.

Dear S.T.,

It seems to me that you would prefer to go on the trip. To me, you should inform your parents that you are pregnant and that you would like to delay going on the trip to Dubai until after you have given birth. Perhaps, you can say you delay the trip for a year. But it would be unwise to say to your parents that you have to totally cancel the trip and would use their gift to you to make a downpayment on a property. It should not be one or the other. That would not be wise, in my opinion.

Perhaps, after the baby is about a year old, you can leave him or her with a relative or even with your parents, if they would agree to keep their grandchild. So you would be delaying the honeymoon for a later date. I believe that your parents will understand that. So, telling them you need the money now to pay on an apartment would give them the impression that you do not appreciate what they give you for your honeymoon.

Pastor