Son’s girlfriend wants a baby to trap him

Dear Pastor,

I am in my mid 40s and I have been married for 10 years. I had one son before I was married and we have lived together.

When he was 21 years old, he asked me if his girlfriend could come and live with us. I was hesitant, but then after serious consideration I told him that he should go and live with her. He told me he did not want to leave me alone because I would not be able to manage the mortgage. We live in a two-bedroom house.

My father, who lives in Canada, helped me to buy this house. My father did not marry my mother, but he tried to support me. He got married in Canada and told me that he was not coming back to Jamaica. My son's father and I did not get along. He was a womaniser. I struggled with my son and he has done well. I am very proud of him.

I finally agreed to let my son's girlfriend moved in. They have their own room and I do not get involved with them.

My son asked me if he could add another room to the house and I told him yes. We have enough land space to do it. His girlfriend is telling him now that he shouldn't spend money on the house, and that both of them should go out and buy their own place. I feel very hurt because my son is wondering whether he has made a mistake in encouraging her to come and live with us.

Believe me, pastor, this girl pretends that she loves me, but how can she love me before my face and behind my back she says negative things. I have no other children. Whatever I have will go to my son.

Recently, they had an argument and I heard my son telling her that she is a hypocrite and if she has found another man, she should leave. I felt so bad about what he said to her. One day, when we were alone, I told him that he should not have told her these things. When she came here she was happy, but now she is telling him that she wants her own space.

He would not lose anything if she leaves because he can always find another girl. She is earning more money than my son, so she feels that she can push him around.

I told my son that if he wants to try and buy a property I would not stand in his way, but he should not allow his girlfriend to rule him. He said she used to be on the Pill, but she has stopped because she wants him to get her pregnant. My son's mind is changing from this girl. Outwardly, she looks beautiful but she is a two-faced girl.

J.S,

Dear J.S,

I am glad that you were able to support your son and I am so very glad also to hear that your father assisted you in purchasing a house. Your son has been very good you. He is surely not ungrateful. Thank the good Lord for your father who has helped you to purchase a house.

Your son's girlfriend is encouraging him to buy a house for both of them that does not mean that she is ungrateful to you. The majority of women do not love to live in their mother-in-law house, but your son should not allow her to push him around. He should not leave his girlfriend because of the suggestion she made to him. Her suggesting that they get their own place does not mean that she hates you. I suggest that you keep out of their business until they invite you to say something about their plans.

Pastor