He does not like hair on my vagina

He does not like hair on my vagina

Dear Pastor,

I have a complaint and I want your best advice. I am 30 and my boyfriend is 26. He is mature but he has some strange ways. I can't discuss some of my problems with my pastor because I am afraid. This man and I live together. He is a good cook. We have an understanding that who gets home first would cook. Sometimes he is lazy and he does not cook and we just make sandwiches. Where I am having problems with this man of late is that he does not like when I allow hair to grow on my vagina. I could remember when that was not a problem but since he got into this different type or sex (oral), it is a problem to him. He likes to shave me and I prefer to shave myself. He is making such a fuss nowadays. I feel that I should just leave him and rent a place on my own.

Do you think he has another woman?

S.I.

Dear S.I.,

If this man and you love each other you would learn to compromise and you would not allow little things to destroy your relationship. This man wants you to be shaven, perhaps for hygienic reasons. You have been reluctant in pleasing him in that way and perhaps that is the reason why he has offered to do it for you. Why should two grown persons make this a big issue? Both of you should learn to respect each other and talk things over. Perhaps you see him as a young boy trying to tell you, a big woman, what to do and how to take care of yourself. You believe also that since he has got to love oral sex that is the reason why he wants you to always shave. I don't know if he has another woman but you should consider that he is younger than you. So I suggest that you find a family counsellor and try to resolve these problems if you want the relationship to continue.

Pastor

My lover could be my grandfather

Dear Pastor,

I am a single young woman. I have had one boyfriend since high school. This man could be my father but he is my boyfriend. Sometimes when I say boyfriend he doesn't like it. He said that he is not a boy. The friendship with this man started when I used to travel with him to school. Sometimes I had no money to go to school, so he took me to school for free and he always asked me if I had lunch money or if I was alright. After a while people found out that we were friends and they told my mother about it. My mother asked me if we are friends and I told her yes and she cursed me and told me I did not have any ambition because that man could be my grandfather. I told my mother that it was too late for her to tell me to leave him because he was giving me money to go to school and she never one day asked me how I am making out and didn't give me any money. This man has three children with three different women. He put two of them through school and now he is paying for me to continue my education. He doesn't want me to get pregnant. My problem is with his jealousy. He doesn't want to see me talk to any man and if I am going out he wants to take me and to pick me up and I don't like that. He is talking about us getting married but I don't want to marry him. I prefer if both of us continue to be friends but not husband and wife. I am living alone and he is paying the rent but he comes here every night. He said he is not watching me but I think he is. I would love to take my sister to help her but he doesn't agree. I know that it is because he wants privacy whenever he comes and it's only a one bedroom apartment. I can't see myself leaving him but at the same time I can't see myself marrying him. I need your advice.

T.S.

Dear T.S.,

Perhaps you do not want to leave this man because of the benefits you are getting. He has been a very good help to you and your mother should have used common sense while you were attending high school. She was not giving you lunch money and yet you went to school every day. I believe that your mother was pretending that she didn't know that you were getting money from a man. She couldn't have been so naive. I would not believe that at all. Perhaps she did not know that the man was your senior by many years.

Women who do not have a close relationship with their daughters are often surprised when they hear what their daughters are doing to survive, and sometimes it is too late to get them to change. You have to make up your mind. In fact, I shouldn't say that, you have already made up your mind. You want the man but you don't want to marry him. Why don't you find yourself a job and go to school in the evenings? Others have done it and so can you.

This man is not going to take kindly to it because he would say that you have used him. However, the truth is, he has used you too and he may not just walk away from you, but if you are determined to end the relationship it can be done. Concerning your sister that you wish to live with you, you should only do so if you are paying your own rent or with this man's consent. That might sound hard but if he is paying the bills he has a right to tell you who can live at the house on a permanent basis. And you should also consider that you are not working, therefore the responsibility to support your sister would be his also.

Pastor

she wants all my pay

Dear Pastor,

I am dating this lady but she is pushing me away. She cannot be satisfied. It is like she wants me to give her all of my pay. Last week I gave her $8,000. Two days later she asked me if I can give her $6,000. I told her I could not, because I had things to deal with. She got upset and refused to talk to me. Every time I receive my pay I give her more than $7,000 and just because I told her I had things to deal with she is upset. She is not understanding.

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

This woman is unthankful and wants too much. She should go and look a job and you should end the relationship with her because if you don't, she would bring you to nothing. Tell her it is over and mean it.

Pastor

My twin wants nothing to do with me

Dear Pastor,

I have an identical twin sister. I was taken away from my blood mother and I was raised by a family that didn't allow problems to overwhelm them. They were always happy and jolly. They were loving. And even when people lied on them, they said that they would keep their enemies as friends even though they knew that they were not true friends, they were enemies. My twin sister is not doing well. People are scared of her. People complain to me about her and tell me that I should talk to her. She is working but she does not even smile. Although we are identical twins she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. She doesn't even get along with her brothers and sisters.

T.R

Dear T.R.,

Try your very best to reach out to your sister. Evidently she is very unhappy. Perhaps your mother has not treated her well. Your mother gave you away and that must be for a reason. Perhaps she wasn't able to support both of you as babies. You were fortunate to grow up in a home where you were well supported. Family members must always endeavour to live in peace and extend a helping hand to each other. I wish you well.

Pastor