Husband divorced me for green card

Dear Pastor,

I was married for 15 years. I used to be madly in love with this man. He used to be loving and caring. He used to buy me nice things.

He went to the United States of America (USA) to work and he sent me money every two weeks. He called me almost nightly before retiring to bed. One night he called me and I could hear a female voice in the background. I asked him who was that person and he said it was his neighbour. I asked him why his neighbour was there and he said she was just checking up on him.

He promised to call me back, but he didn't. The following day I called him and asked why he did not call me back; he said he fell asleep. I became very concerned because I am far away from him.

But despite the distance, he plays his fatherly role with the children. He talked to them and encourages them to go to school and to do well. I told him I was lonely, so he should hurry up and return to Jamaica.

There was one evening when I called him about 10 p.m. and noticed that his television was very loud. I asked him to turn down the volume and he said he was sleepy, but he would call me back. I suspected that the lady he claimed to he his neighbour, or some other woman, was with him. He told me nobody was with him.

One day he told me that he was thinking of staying in the USA a little longer. He said that his relatives where encouraging him to divorce me and to get married to an American so that he can get a green card. Immediately I started crying, but he said I should not cry because they were only making a suggestion.

This man and I were together for about five years before we got married. His relatives should not encourage him to leave me and to marry someone else because they want him to get a green card. I was so angry with them; I have been faithful to him all these years.

My husband changed his phone number and refused to give me his new number, but he continued to call and to send money for the children and me.

To cut a long story short, my husband has divorced me. He told me it would be for my own good. He said we can get married again. I will never trust another man in my life. I hate his relatives for encouraging him to leave me and to marry another woman.

T.L

Dear T.L.,

Long-distance relationships are very difficult to maintain. Your in-laws encouraged your husband to divorce you and to marry another woman, but the final decision was his. He did not have to accept what they said. It does not make any sense for you to wait outside for him.

I hope that your husband will continue to support your children. It's not unusual for men to tell women that they will come to Jamaica and marry them after they have got their green card. Many have done so, but many have not.

Try your best with your children, and have your children talk to their father as often as possible. I wish you well.

Pastor