I am sleeping with my boss

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I have been working in a business place that is owned by a woman.

I started working here two years ago and I do everything she asks. When I started working here, other workers told me that I was a fool to be doing whatever she asked and not get paid for it. This woman helped me to get my driver's licence, so sometimes she would send me to deliver stuff or to collect cheques from other business places. She trusted me. I do not have a good education, but this lady would write everything down for me and go over what she wrote. I have never stolen anything from her. I grew up with my grandmother, who taught me to be respectful to everybody.

One day my mother called and told me that my grandmother was not well. My boss told me to take two days off and to go and visit my grandmother. This woman is in love with me. I did not know she loved me in a sexual way until she started to buy me gifts and invited me to go to a certain place. I went with her, and she encouraged me to sleep with her. She told me that she was aware that I have a girlfriend, but I can still sleep with her. She said the people at the guesthouse may just think that I am her driver.

I have never looked at a big woman in that way, but for the entire weekend, I slept on the same bed with her. We went from the Friday evening and got back to Kingston on the Sunday evening. We were back at work on the Monday, and none of the other workers knew that I was with her for the weekend. This woman got me a US visa and I have gone to America with her. Since I went out with her to that guest house, she has raised my pay three times. I never call her by her first name; I always call her Miss. Workers suspect that this lady loves me, but they are afraid of her, so all they do is whisper. I always deny that something is going on between us. She has even given me money to give my girlfriend for Christmas and her birthday.

Sometimes I wonder what is going to happen to me. I would like to leave this job but I don't know how.

C.E.

Dear C.E.,

This type of relationship cannot last forever. This woman who is your boss has been training you to do everything that a husband should do.

She gave you a job, and that was fine. You became a very good worker. She has compensated you very well. You believe that the other workers are not aware of what is going on with you, but they suspect. You are a naive young man. This woman is a cougar. If she wanted a man, she could have looked for one. You have not said it, but you have been excited knowing that this woman has treated you so well, including helping you to get a visa. She has even taken you with her for a weekend at a certain place, which I will not mention. You need to remember that you have to have your own home, and run your own house.

The relationship with this woman cannot go on, as you said. One of these days you should tell your boss that you would love to spend more time with your girlfriend and you would like to marry her, and see how she reacts. You are working with her, but you need to learn a skill so that you will be able to get another job, get married and move on.

What you are doing now is not good, so you should try to bring it to an end.

Pastor