I want her out of my life

Dear Pastor,

I'm reaching out in hopes that you can understand my situation with my fiancee and offer some sound advice.

I am living with this woman for three years. We have one child together, but she had a child before our relationship began. This child is a boy and he has no respect for me. One day his mother and I had a disagreement and she told me a bad word. This boy joined in and told me the same thing. The boy is only 11 years old, and his mother told me what I should go and do with my mother. The little boy told me the same thing. I could not believe what he said. His mother did not reprimand him. I was shocked. I cannot allow him to stay in my house. I told her that she should send him to live with his father. She said she would prefer for us to break up, as she is not sending him to live in the same house with his father's woman.

The woman I am living with doesn't want to have anything to do with me. She believes that it was because of me why her son's father broke up with her. However, it is much more than that. I had nothing to do with the break-up. When I met him, he told me about her and how she tried to tie him to her. She believes in obeah. He also said that she is on the nasty side. She would not even keep the bathroom clean, so he was planning to leave her.

As I said, this relationship is three years old. The mother is not getting much from his father. The boy sits and eats at my table, but more than that, he has his own room. He sees how his mother treats me, so he has no respect for me. His mother told me that I should remember that he is only a child, and he is reacting to how I treat her. I have never hit this woman, but I have called her nasty, and I can't take that back because she is nasty.

This is my house. She has not done anything to this house. I pay my mortgage on my own. I have never asked her to assist me. The child we have together, I will support my child. I told her that she can leave the child and I will take her to live with my mother. She told me I will be 'F' mad, because an old woman can't care for children. I can't take this woman anymore, so please give me your advice.

S.W.

Dear S.W.,

I suggest that you talk to an attorney-at-law. You would want to do what is right. I could understand the relationship has been going on for three years and both of you have a child together. However, there are times when relationships start off very well and things go sour after a while. It must be very shocking, or should I say embarrassing, to have your stepson telling you expletives, and instead of his mother correcting him, she is excusing him and telling you he is only a child. She is totally out of her mind. Her son is not too young to be corrected. He has not got proper training because he should have been told that the way he is speaking to you is inappropriate.

I commend you for not letting go of your cool, because some men would have given him a proper beating. If you did, it could have landed you in prison. You have to get this out- of-order woman to see that she has to leave your house. Perhaps you might have to file for custody of your daughter, but this might be an uphill battle because she is very young. That is why I am saying to you, you should seek the help of a lawyer.

I hope you have recorded every incident that has taken place between this woman and yourself. I hope you have written down the date and time when this woman told you what you should do and when her son cursed you. It is amazing what some of you men go through with some of these women. You have got involved with a bad woman. I know you must have your faults, but regardless of what your faults are, she should not use expletives to you, and her son should not do so, either.

Continue to keep your cool, and make sure you support your daughter.

Pastor