Broke ex-boyfriend still begging me money

Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you. You did not even acknowledge my first letter.

Nevertheless, I forgive you, because I can imagine that you receive many letters and you cannot answer all of them. I am having a problem. I am 40 and I have been reading your column from I was in my teens. I have had many relationships, but they did not last long. When I was young, I thought I would have found a man and he would take care of me and I wouldn't have to worry about life. But I found out that men were looking for women who could support them.

I had a boyfriend who got up every morning, had breakfast and left the house. He told me goodbye, but instead of going to work, he was at the gambling house. He was only doing a security job three times for the week. He did not bring home anything at the end of the week. I had to be supporting him, so I got tired of him and told him to go. When he realised that I was serious, he spread my name all over the place that I was keeping another man with him. The man was a liar. He never bought me anything, not even underwear.

I had a brother who was known to be a badman. I spoke to him, and my brother told this man that he should stop telling people bad things about me. He said that if he didn't stop, he was going to break his bones. He had a couple of shirts at my house and he came for them and told me that he was sorry for not being a good man, and he didn't believe that he would meet another woman like me. I wished him well. The last thing I heard about him is that he was a taxi driver, but the taxi's owner took the car away because he was not keeping his side of the bargain. He should have taken money to the owner every week, but he wasn't doing that. He was always telling the owner something went wrong with the car, so the owner took the car.

I saw him on the road trying to get passengers to put in another vehicle. He has no shame. When he saw me, he asked me if I could give him lunch money. I told him he could take it out of the money that he has for me. I have suffered so much at the hands of men. I don't want any more to come my way. They are no good.

F.A.

Dear F.A.,

Try not to condemn all men. There are some good men who are honest and hard-working, but there are also some tricksters.

You are quite correct that they try to live off women. The mistake you probably made was that you accepted everything that these men told you. You are fortunate that he did not take you to Beverly Hills, Norbrook or a middle-class area and point out houses and claim that his aunt or uncle owned them, and that when both of you get married, you would live in one of the houses.

I knew a young man who dressed up every morning and pretended that he was going to work. But he was not going anywhere; he was a crook. He even printed certificates and claimed that he had degrees, but he had none. These guys know that women are always seeking good men. This guy was registered in a reputable theological institution and the institution had to dismiss him as a student. He was deported out of the country.

Be careful how you associate yourself with some men. They are crooked, but I repeat, not all men are crooks. There are some who are genuine. So don't swear that you will never get involved with another man. Seek the Lord's face for a good man.

Pastor