Babyfather wants to choose my work clothes

Dear Pastor,

I read your column every day and I listen to your show at nights. I have my favourite callers.

I am living with a man and we have a child together. He used to support me fully, but now I have a job. When I was at home and not working, we never had many arguments. But since I started working, we have had arguments. Sometimes when I get dressed to go to work, he tells me that my pants are too tight and I am showing too much of my backside. I have obeyed him a few times and changed my pants, but now I believe that this man thinks that because I am working, other men would see me and that I would become involved with them. I am not that type of girl.

When I became involved with him and got pregnant, I was alone. I could have cheated on him but I didn't. So why would I change now when I have a child with this man? His mother takes care of the baby and when I leave work, I go to her home and pick up the baby. This man has a car and if he is able, he picks up the baby before me so I can come straight home.

Guys call to me all the time when they see me on the road and I do not even give them the impression that I am interested in them. But I come home and my boyfriend asks me if I don't see anybody who I like. I am tired of this foolishness. This is the only problem that I am having with this man. He is always questioning me about whether other men see me and like me.

Do you think that he wants to leave me or does he really feel that I would cheat on him?

K.A.

Dear K.A.,

There are some men who still do not like their women to go out and work.

It is not as bad as it was years ago, but there are some silly men who believe that when their women go out to work, other men may see them and fall in love with them, and suddenly these women would become unfaithful to them. Perhaps that is what your boyfriend is worried about and why he is raising unnecessary arguments with you. Perhaps you look good from behind. There are certain clothes that show up your unique figure, so he believes that you would draw attention from men.

Don't allow what this man says to stop you from working. He should be glad that you are employed. Work is good therapy. His mother is keeping the baby, therefore you can work. Make sure that you save something out of your pay. Talk to this man about investing part of what both of you earn. He needs to see that with both of you are working; you are earning enough to put away something for the future. As the saying goes, you save something for a rainy day. By saving, you can plan for your child. You will give your child a good start in life.

Before I go, let me caution this man and you: do not have another child too soon.

Pastor