I want a man like my dad

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I have been reading your column from I was 15. My father always brought home THE STAR, and he reads it after my mother gives him his dinner.

After reading, my father often leaves the newspaper on the chair, and my mother and I read your column and comment on your responses.

Most times my mother would agree with your comments, but my father used to say that you are hard on the men, and not on the women. My mother says that sometimes your answer caused them to fuss with each other, but in a good way.

My father wasn't perfect, but he was a good man and an even better father. When my mother got sick and couldn't work, he took care of all the bills without complaining. My mother used to say that my father loved her more than she loved him. She always told me that when I find a man, he should love me more than I love him.

My father would do anything for her. One thing they always agreed on was politics -- they supported the same party and used to attend meetings together before she became ill.

People often say men can't be trusted, but as a child growing up, I knew my father was faithful. I remember a woman who tried to win him over, but he told her plainly that my mother had everything he needed. When the woman told him he needed a change and that a man shouldn't eat chicken every day, he replied, "But chicken can be cooked in different ways -- and I like my chicken just fine."

Now, I have a boyfriend, but my father doesn't like him. When I asked why, my dad said it's because he's lazy and will never support me the way a man should. He said lazy men are no good. And I have to admit, I've noticed it too -- my boyfriend doesn't even cut his mother's yard. When I asked him why, he said he's always too tired after work. My dad drove past the yard once, saw how high the grass was, and said, "How can a man live where mongoose might take over?"

What do you think, Pastor? Should I take my father's warning seriously?

K.P,

Dear K.P,

I am so happy to hear that for many years your parents have read my column and that you have also enjoyed doing so. It is not unusual to hear some men say that I am soft on women but there are times that women say that I am taking the side of men.

The truth is I have tried to be balanced and I am not afraid to say that a man is wrong when he is wrong and that a woman is wrong when she is wrong.

People don't like to hear the truth. I was at the Norman Manley International Airport preparing to take a flight out of Jamaica when a man came and greeted me. He pointed me to his wife, who I did not recognise. The man reminded me that they came to see me about a matter sometime ago.

After the meeting, she told him that she was annoyed with me because, in her opinion, she alleged that I took a side in their dispute. However, I weighed the matter carefully and gave my opinion.

I am glad your father supports your mother very well. He is a good man. He is faithful to your mother and she is aware of that. I hope you would heed your mother's advice. I hope you will get yourself a good man.

Pastor