Secret affair has left me in big trouble

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I am in big trouble. I made a mistake. I got mixed up with a guy who is my best friend's boyfriend. We always liked each other and we all were schoolmates. But he finally chose her over me. We used to take chances and have sex whenever it was possible.

I live with my mother, my younger sister and my older brother. This is my mother's home. We lost our father in an accident and it has affected our mother, but she works hard and we are proud of her.

My brother is a taxi driver. My sister is still going to school. Sometimes I find it difficult, and so this guy gives me money; but as I said, he belongs to my best friend.

I had a boyfriend but he left for Canada. He promised that he would take care of me, but I don't see anything happening. He calls me every week and whenever I ask him if he is not sending something for me, he tells me to be patient. I told him that patience can't buy me anything and I need girl's stuff.

My brother, who is the taxi driver, told my mother that he saw a man at our gate and it seems to him that that man was coming from our house. My brother asked me if a man came to see me and I told him no. He said he believed that I was lying. My sister, who sleeps in my mother's bedroom most times, said she did not hear anybody in our room. She and I sleep on the same bed, but most times she is with our mother.

The man he saw was really with me, but I could not let my brother know, and my mother did not hear anybody because she is deaf. It was not the first time this man has spent time in the house with me. Whenever he is coming over, I usually give my sister $1,000 or $2,000 to keeps her mouth shut. This time I did not tell her that the guy was coming because I didn't want to give her any money.

Now, I am in trouble because I have found myself pregnant and I don't know what to do. This guy told me I should give the belly to somebody else, but there is nobody else. My boyfriend is not here, and when he was here and we had sex, we used to use protection. When I had sex with this guy we were not prepared. I didn't even ask him if he had a condom, so it was a big slip-up. I have started to show.

My mother has not asked me anything as yet. I feel like running away, but where can I go? This girl is going to hate me for going to bed with her man, but I used to take the chance because of need. Pastor, please tell me what to do. I am nervous as I write to you.

P.

Dear P.,

You are without excuse. You are conniving, and your best friend's boyfriend is just as wicked as you are. Both of you are traitors. You grew up with your girlfriend and you like the young man, but he chose your friend over you. However, because he was in a position to help you financially, you have been having sex with him secretly. There is no excuse that you can make that will be good enough for becoming sexually involve with this man.

Your boyfriend is now living in Canada and he is not in a position to send you money right now; he told you to be patient. You don't respect yourself. You even scheme with your sister, who is younger than you, to remain quiet whenever this man is coming to your house. Whenever your mother finds out that you are pregnant she is going to be very disappointed in you.

You want me to tell you what to do, I can tell you what to do. Have your baby; don't even try to abort this pregnancy. Tell your girlfriend that it is her boyfriend who got you pregnant and you are sorry for what has happened. She may curse you out and call you a fool, but at the same time she may forgive you because you are naive. Tell your mother the truth. You don't have to tell her that this man came into your house and bed you. However, she ought to know who is responsible for your pregnancy.

And please, let your boyfriend in Canada know that you are pregnant. If you don't want to keep the child after he or she is born, give him or her up for adoption.

Pastor