My boyfriend is 25 with six kids

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old, living with my boyfriend. Before we moved in together, I knew he had children with other women, but I didn't realize the full extent. He is only 25 years old and has six children with six different women. He works as a security guard. I only discovered the number of children he had after I became pregnant.

When my stepfather found out I was pregnant, he insisted I leave his house, saying my babyfather should find a place for me. My boyfriend then spoke to his mother, who welcomed me into her home despite limited space. She pointed out that my boyfriend sleeps on a bed that was folded and placed in one corner of a room, but assured me she wouldn't turn me away since I was carrying her grandchild.

This woman has been kind to me. Although I had to leave school, I helped her with housework, and she even taught me how to cook. My boyfriend gave up his bed for me and slept on the floor. His two sisters also cared for me.

When I asked him how he ended up with so many children, he couldn't give a straight answer, only pointing out that I got pregnant the same way. I asked why he didn't use protection, and he said he doesn't believe in condoms because, in his words, it's like 'throwing away his seed, which he claims the Bible opposes.

Recently, my mother told me her relationship with my stepfather is falling apart, and he is planning to leave. She said I could return home once he is gone. I told her I would only consider returning if my babyfather could stay with me. She said she would think about it.

Pastor, I have grown to love my boyfriend's mother and appreciate the support she has given me. I don't want to leave my boyfriend, but I also wonder if I should move back home once my stepfather is gone. Do you think I should return?

S.G.

Dear S.G.,

Your child's father has to learn to control his sexual urges and also to understand that he has to become a responsible man. He should not be scattering his 'seed' here, there and everywhere. It is nonsense for him to believe that he should sow his seed everywhere and by using protection he is killing children because that is what it amongst to.

This guy's mother is a good woman, at least she took you in, but her son should have told you that he has fathered many children. I hesitate to tell you that you should not return to your mother's house after your stepfather has left. But your boyfriend would have a big say in whether you should go or not. After all, he is the one who is now taking care of you, but my darling, please learn to protect yourself. Do not allow this man to get you pregnant again.

Have you seen how he is blaming the other women for having children by him? His excuse is they all did what you have done and that is, they had sex with him. While I appreciate that he gave up his bed and his mother took you in, I still consider him to be very irresponsible.

Please, as soon as you are able, go back to school.

Pastor