Friend’s husband tried to sleep with me

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you about a little matter. I am in my early 20s. I am a graduate of The University of the West Indies (UWI).

Some time ago, I was spending a few days with my girlfriend and her husband. My girlfriend and I go way back; we attended the same high school and The UWI together. I had an experience with her husband that I will never forget. My girlfriend is doing a part-time job, so she left early to go to work and her husband was at the house. I was sleeping and I heard a knocking on my door; it was her husband. I said, "What's happening?" He said he wanted to talk to me, and wondered if he could come in the room. I said, "Okay." When the man opened the door, he was as naked as the day he was born. He said he didn't want me to feel shocked and hoped that I would not tell his wife what he was about to tell me. I told him to put on some clothes and I would come out to the television room and talk to him. He said I did not have to come out, but he was there with me because he has always loved me and he told his wife that he admires me, so she knows how he feels about me.

I told him that I do not want to get involved with him at all, and I am going to cry out to the neighbours if he attempted to rape me. He said he did not want to rape me, he was only asking me to have sex with him, and he would even pay me for it. It took him a while to leave the bedroom. But, when he left, I locked the door and called my girlfriend and asked her when he is leaving the house. She figured that something was wrong, so I told her that, when she got home, I would tell her what happened.

I called one of my brothers and told him that he should be prepared to pick me up when my friend is at home. When my friend got home, I did not have the courage to tell her what happened, but she suspected that her husband was trying to get me to go to bed with him. I have never told her the truth. We are still very good friends but I have never stayed at her house again. You would be surprised to know that this man is very respectable and he knows that I have a boyfriend, but he did not care. I have not mentioned what I went through with this man to my boyfriend.

You would be surprised to know that he occasionally calls me and tells me that he will never give up until he gets me. Recently, I told him that, if he does not stop harassing me, I am going to tell my friend everything that happened. How could I go to bed with my best friend's husband?

H.B.

Dear H.B.,

If you want this man to stop calling you, don't just threaten him that you will tell his wife what he is doing.

Inform her now that he has always been showing interest in you and that he tried to persuade you to have sex with him while she was at work. Tell her that he is constantly calling you and begging you for sex. Be very careful with this man, because you know that he does not take no for an answer. Do not go back to your girlfriend's house, and tell her why you will not spend any time with her there in the future.

Pastor