Think my daughter is a prostitute

Dear Pastor,

I am a 45-year-old woman and I read your column every day. I have four children; three of them have good passes.

Right now, two of them are teaching. I got help with them from my brothers. The two who are working went to college. The other one likes to do work with his hands and is working with a contractor. My youngest child is the one that I am not happy about. When she was growing up, she was always listening to dancehall music. She would strip down to her underwear and dance and play music in her room. I went into her room when she was dancing and saw her making vulgar moves. I talked to her, but she never stopped. She would go out with her friends to parties and when I threatened her, her father told me to leave her alone because I would get myself into trouble. He loves his children so much that he has never beaten them. He would talk, and if they didn't do what he said, he would leave them alone.

Their father and I are not married. After having these children for him, he found another woman and married her because she promised to get him a green card. Well, he went away and he has his green card, and I struggled with all the children. My youngest child is not interested in education. Anything that has to do with dancing, she likes that - she likes to wine. My sons told me that other girls are teaching her to be an exotic dancer. I told her that she cannot stay in my house and do those types of dancing. She did not tell me that she was going to leave, but she told her brothers that if she can't go to clubs and dance, she would leave the house. I did not want her to leave, so whenever she tells me that she is going out, I just say, "Be careful."

I don't want to be a hypocrite, but these days she can find $10,000 every week to give to me. She sleeps all day and works at night. When I told her siblings how much money she has been giving me, they told me she has to be doing other things to earn money. When I asked what other things, one of my sons laughed and told me that I should know what they mean.

How can I get my daughter to stop selling herself and going to these clubs? I understand that many famous men go to these places and have their way with the girls. I hate knowing that my daughter is selling herself. Sometimes when I look at her, I can see that she is very tired and that is why she sleeps so much during the day. Sometimes when she say that she is leaving, I look up and see the type of cars that are picking her up. I wonder what my neighbours are saying. Pastor, please, give me your advice.

K.M.

Dear K.M.,

Your youngest child believes that the way she has taken is what she likes, and indeed, if she did not like to be an exotic dancer, she wouldn't be engaged in it.

One day I had to go somewhere, and I had to pass through my neighbours' yard. My neighbour was living in a very big house, but there was a smaller house adjacent to his. As I was walking through, I saw three or four girls on the outside and one was only in her underwear. The other girls were there telling her how she should move her body. They were teaching her how to dance. I passed by. I said hello to them, and that was it.

The young woman who was dancing was in class; they were training her on how to dance. The other girls, I assumed, were already trained. I must confess that I have never gone to any such clubs, but I have had to counsel girls who were involved in them. But your children know what is going on. I listened to a caller who runs one of these clubs, and he told me that he has rooms at his clubs for these girls who dance, and men who want them for sex can rent the rooms. That is what your children are telling you, that they believe that their sister is selling herself, in addition to her dancing. Madam, you are not going to be able to stop your daughter. You can talk to her and pray for her, but that is where it stops.

I will tell you another thing. One girl who sells herself came to me to get married. I asked her if the man who she is going to marry knew the type of work she did, and she proudly said, "Yes, he was one of my customers." I left it there.

Pastor