Scared of adopting a child

Dear Pastor,

I am a 63-year-old man and my wife is 40. She is my second wife, as my first wife and I got divorced four years ago. I fell in love with this woman.

Some of my relatives, including my two daughters, had concerns that I was marrying a younger woman. But I was very pleased with her because she did not seem to want me for what I had. After two years of friendship, I asked her to move in with me. She was never married, but she was dating different men. After she met me and we went out twice, she stopped dating other guys. I was concerned whether I could satisfy her sexually because I am diabetic. You know that when a man is diabetic and he is on medication, that may lead to sexual problems. But I follow my doctor's advice and now I am strong as ever.

My daughters are very close to me. They both attended my wedding and took part in it. I am so very proud of them. They have helped me in so many different ways and they have not blamed me for divorcing their mother. I have had a good job; I am still working. My wife takes very good care of me. My children were on my major account and I have not removed their names, but my wife and I have opened an account together. Both of us pay the house bills. I have been very fortunate because I do not have any mortgage. My former wife did not walk away empty-handed. I gave her one of the houses I owned. My mother is still alive, but my father has passed on. I go to see my mother every week; she is in a nursing home, but she is very alert. I speak to my mother at least twice per day and she is very happy for me.

The only thing I cannot do for my wife is to have a child with her. We may adopt one, but I can't make up my mind. I would have to discuss that with my daughters. I write to you knowing that some of the people who know me would recognise that this letter is coming from me. I know you will not condemn me. Do you think that I should adopt a child? I am so scared to do so. I would appreciate your comments and advice.

O.D.

Dear O.D.,

Thank you very much for your letter. It reminds me of the home where I stayed in America.

The family was very wealthy. They had a very prosperous business and although they had children of their own, they were always helping other children who were from poor families. One of the boys they adopted was very disobedient, and it broke the couple's heart. The young man had everything to his comfort. But he wouldn't listen. One day he told them that he cannot wait to become a teen and move out on his own. By saying that to his parents, he showed how ungrateful he was.

I am not going to discourage you from adopting a child; but I will say you ought to have all the information you can get about the child. Perhaps that child should not be more than one or two years old. You have two wonderful adult daughters. You are wise to keep them on your account, and you have done the right thing by opening an account with your wife.

My friend, I wish you well. Take care of your wife and, please, take care of your health.

Pastor