Don't think my parents should migrate

Dear Pastor

I am 40 years old and I have been married twice. I first got married when I was 24. My husband was a lazy man. I used to go to work while he stays home. My father had two different apartments apart from the house where we live.

He told us we could live in one of the apartments for one year for free and that could give us time to save some money.

We stayed at the apartment for 14 months and then I spoke to my father about the agreement. He said he was not running us, but if we are ready and we want to stay there we can give him 'x' amount of money, which was half we would pay for another apartment that size.

My husband said that my father didn't have to charge us anything because he has money and that caused a fuss.

All my husband was interested in was to get me pregnant. I did not get pregnant and I started to pray that I wouldn't get pregnant because he changed after we got married.

Every day he told me that I should try and get my name on my father's bank account, because he could get ill and die. I told him that my mother's name is on my father's account, so my name doesn't have to be on it.

He told me that my brother is closer to my parents than me, so I should not take things for granted. When I met my husband he was working, but I should have known the relationship wouldn't work.

He got his cousin pregnant and the whole thing was well known in the community, so they sent her away until she got the baby. She was only 17.

I couldn't deal with it, so I asked him to leave. He did not deny that he got his cousin pregnant. Before he left, he cursed me and called me a mule. He went to the US and one day he called me and asked me to forgive him because he has become a born-again Christian. But we got a divorce.

My present husband and my parents get along well. He is five years younger than I am.

He is from a middle class family. He doesn't talk to me about money because his people have money. He has a good job and I have a good job.My father is now 80 and my mother is 75. My brother is living in California. He got married to an American.

He wants my parents to give up Jamaica and live with him and his wife. My parents are not interested. My mother loves gardening and she likes to play cards with her friends. My brother thinks that I should encourage them to come.

Every time I raise it, my father asked me if I do not love them or if I am tired of them.

They have given my brother and I good education. I can't get tired with parents who took care of me and give me a good education.

I told my brother not to fret over them. If they become ill, they will get a nurse or a caregiver. Do you agree with me pastor?

S.T

Dear S.T

Your first husband did not deserve you and evidently he was a greedy man. You mention how lazy he was. But, he also had his eyes on your parent's money. I am glad that you are happy and that your brother and you are taking care of your parents. At least you all are giving them a watchful eye. Your brother is concerned about them as they get older, but so are you. Both of you should not fuss about where your parents should live. As I see it, they are happy living in Jamaica. So what I suggest is that they can visit your brother and his family every year. But, if they are in fairly good health, you should go with them on trips every other year or so. So at least they will see somewhere new. Your present husband is five years younger than you and nothing is wrong with that. He can be of great assistance with you and your parents. You love him and both of you are getting along well.