Sister’s brother-in-law wants to marry me

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you because I am concerned about something. I am in my early 40s and I was once married.

But I was forced to divorce my husband. We have two children together. I have a twin sister who is married. But her brother-in-law is not and since I have been divorced, this man has been showing interest in me.

I like him, but I do not know whether I should really have a relationship with him. I discussed it with my father and he told me that I have his blessing. My mother is not sure, but she has not said outright that I should not have a relationship with him. He is a very wonderful man. He has saved his money but one has to know him very well to know about his wealth. He has two houses; he lives in one and rents the other. He has a very good job. This man has taken me on vacation to The Bahamas and we had a great time. I never thought I would have been very comfortable with him, but he made me feel very, very comfortable.

My twin sister told me that I should not let this man slip out of my hands. He is not interested in having more children and neither am I. I told my children that I was going on vacation. They wanted to know with whom, but I did not tell them. Neither have I told them that I am in love with this man. I would also like you to know that he is white. So if we were to get married, my sister and I would have married white men. That's something I never thought that I would have done. What do you think about interracial marriage?

Years ago when I was a teenager, I was about 18 years old, I had a fling with a man who was 25 and he was of Indian descent. I told myself that I was going to stay with my race. This Indian fellow used to talk a lot, but he was not good in bed. He was very small. Our relationship did not last very long. So I married a black man who used to take me to cloud nine, but the relationship was abusive.

So back to what I really want to know; what do you think of this man who is my sister's brother-in-law and who is madly in love with me? Do you think that I should marry him? I will be looking forward to your answer.

B.M.

Dear B.M.,

If this man loves you and you love him, I see no reason why you should not marry him.

Your children cannot decide for you. You have already gone deeply into the relationship with him. The man has already taken you to The Bahamas. I wish you well. Make sure that both of you attend premarital counselling before you say I do. Love does not know colour or race.

Pastor