Ex-girlfriend was too freaky for me

Dear Pastor,

I am 34 years old who was living with a woman who was 30. This woman was living with a man, but they broke up.

I met her while she was having problems with the man. She was not sure what she should have done, but one day they had a fight and she had to run out of the house half- naked; her neighbour had to rescue her.

This woman and I got along well. Apart from her jealousy, we didn't argue much. She was the type of woman who loved sex. I loved sex, too, but she took sex further than I did. Let me try to explain what I meant. Even when she was seeing her menses, she said that she wanted sex. Even when I said no and suggested that she should wait until her period ended, she insisted that was what she wanted. The first time I saw her masturbating while she was having her period, I was so surprised. She said she could not do better, because she was feeling very horny.

One night while laying on my belly, she used her long fingernails to pinch my back; I had to ask her if she was going crazy. I eventually had to leave this girl. I am with an older woman now, but I miss the young woman. I could get her back, but I would have to promise that I would make love to her. Is it right for a man and his woman to have sex while she is seeing her period?

C.

Dear C.,

You might observe that I really don't use scripture verses to answer questions, unless the questions are directly relating to the Bible.

But in this case I think that I have to quote the Bible. I have to ask myself the question, what does the Bible say about having sex during that period? Under the ceremonial law, women were not allowed to do certain things during their menstruation. You may study these verses and they would show you how women were restricted: Leviticus 15:19-23, Leviticus 12:1-5 and Leviticus 15:25-30.

It was forbidden for men to have sex with their women while they were seeing their period. Some have argued that those days have passed and the restrictions have been removed. Some women have admitted that they feel very sexy and horny while seeing their period; and when their men refused to have sex with them, the women became very angry.

Women have told me in counselling sessions, and in the presence of their men, that having sex during their period is the most exciting and enjoyable experience. Some men classify it as nastiness. It is said that women who experience orgasm while menstruating reduce the pain that occurs during menstruation.

I am not in a position to either sanction or condemn couples who have sex while the women are menstruating. I do not see why a man should approach his woman for sex during menstruation, or why a woman cannot wait until that time has passed. In your case, it is the woman who always wanted to have sex. It eventually caused the both of you to break up. Perhaps what both of you should have done was to seek the help of a family counsellor and discuss the matter. It is too late now. I wish you well in this new relationship.

Pastor