My roommate is too nasty

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years of age and I live alone. I have graduated from university and it took me a while to find employment, but I am finally employed.

I love where I am working. I am sharing facilities with another girl, but she is not very tidy. We have our own room, but I share kitchen and bathroom with her.

This girl behaves as if she did not have any home training. She uses the kitchen and leaves the dirty dishes piled up in the sink. I used to assist by washing them, but I observed that even when her boyfriend comes to spend time with her, and she offers him food, she takes the dishes and put them in the sink and leave them there. I spoke to her many times, but she has not changed.

I do not like to tell you how she treats the bathroom. The things she leaves in the bathroom, no decent woman would want anybody to see.

I am now seeing a guy and I have to be very careful that everything is in order when he comes to see me, especially the bathroom. He stays over sometimes, but if he wants to use the bathroom, I sometimes tell him that I have to check the bathroom first. There are times when he says, "But I only want to pass some water"; However, I always like to say to him, "Yes, but there is another woman living here with me."

I don't have any problem with her when it comes to the paying of the rent because we put our rent and the utilities money together, but I have given her notice that I am planning to leave because she is too untidy. I have made sure not to encourage my siblings to come and spend time with me because of the way the house is kept.

I badly need a place to rent. I can pay $30,000 per month.

K.A

Dear K.A.,

Congratulations to you for doing well at university. I trust that you are going to work hard, save and invest, so that you will be in a position to purchase a home of your own. The goal of every woman or man should be to buy his or her house. If you are fortunate to have a man who is hard-working and ambitious, and who will marry you, both of you can purchase a house together.

I do not encourage any woman who is single to purchase a house with a single man. It is different if both of you were married. I don't care what a financial institution may encourage you to do; I speak to you as a counsellor, don't join with a single man and purchase a place. If he will not marry you, you should not purchase property with him. He may promise to marry you, but a promise is totally different from actually marrying you. You set up yourself for lots of problems if you are not married to the man.

I can hear many people saying as they read these words from me, "Why is pastor saying these things?" I am saying these things because I have seen so many women suffer from the hands of men who have struggled with them and purchase property with them and have treated the women as floor mats. Struggle on your own, my dear, and buy your property without the help of a man. Unless of course, I repeat, both of you are married.

Concerning your roommate, you should try your best to assist her by telling her that you cannot stand her untidiness, so you are going to move on. Don't embarrass yourself by staying there with her.

Pastor