I don’t want a steady relationship
Dear Pastor,
I am 23 years old and I am not in a steady relationship. I do not go out much. I live alone but I have two women who visit me. We have casual sex. Both of these women know each other. They are not friends, but they know each other because I told them the truth about each other.
I am not interested in getting married. I don't handle anything from these women; they should only come to see me when I am expecting them. One is 19 years old and the other is 25.
These women do not have to cook for me or do anything in my house. One of my sisters, who are married, cleans, washes and sometimes cooks for me. She warns me all the time to be careful. My 19-year-old girlfriend is always asking me for money, so each month I put away some money for her.
My other girlfriend does not ask me for anything, neither does she sleep over. She has a boyfriend who is studying in the United States of America, so she spends time with me and she leaves. She drives her own car. She says that she enjoys having me on the side.
As I have said, I have no intention of getting married now. Sometimes when this girl comes to see me, she brings food and she always has with her protection. She has taught me a lot. One of the things she taught me is that women should never be trusted.
One day we were having sex and her boyfriend called and she told him that she would have to call him back because one of her friends was doing her hair. He believed her and told her that it was OK. She then turned off her phone and we continued to have sex. She was not even embarrassed. I said to myself, what a terrible person this girl is.
The other girl does not have a boyfriend, but when she is around me her phone is off. It is still cheaper to have these women in my life than to have one woman that I am totally responsible for, and costing me a lot of money.
What do you have to say, pastor?
K.L
Dear K.L.,
You should learn to be a good man. This young woman who is a few years older than you has her boyfriend abroad. She is using you as her side man. Do you think that is right? I am sure you would not be happy if you were in this man's shoe. I really cannot encourage you to continue playing around with this woman. You make sex look dirty.
The women in your life know about each other. The 19-year-old is getting financial assistance from you but you cannot be sure that she is not seeing other men.
There is always a chance that you can contract an STI because of your promiscuous lifestyle. So, young man, be careful. Stop playing around.
Pastor