My boyfriend is too large My boyfriend is

Dear Pastor,

ManI am a 22-year-old woman and I am having problems. I have a boyfriend who is 25 and I love him. The problem that I am having is that whenever we have sex, it is very painful.

When I met him and we started to have sex and I felt pain, my boyfriend said that it was because I wasn't having sex regularly. I know that could not be the reason because I have previous boyfriends. In fact, the guy I was involved with before present boyfriend was overseas for six months at one point. During the time that he was away, I did not have sex, but when he returned and we resumed having sex, it was not painful.

I told my boyfriend that he is too large for me and he said he believed that he is not large enough. When he said that, I was very upset because, to me, he was saying that my vagina was too big.

I spoke to my gynaecologist about the problem and she said that the cause could be partly because of my boyfriend. She said that he may be rushing into the sexual act when I am not sufficiently ready for the penis. I believe that is true, because my boyfriend does not even practice foreplay. He is always anxious to get inside of me.

I did not have this kind of problem before I met him. I told him that I heard of a sex therapist, but he is not interested in going to see her. My doctor told me that if my boyfriend will not cooperate I should end the relationship with him. She tested me to determine whether I was suffering from a sexually transmitted disease, but I am not. I think that this man is too large for me, and he is not cooperating with me. Kindly give me your advice.

G.R

Dear G.R.,

I suggest that you follow the advice of your doctor. Some time ago, in a counselling session, a young lady told me that every time she had sex with her man, she had serious pains. This man was very good to her. He supported her financially, but there was no emotional or physical enjoyment when they went to bed.

She kept going to her doctor who assured her that nothing was physically wrong with her and advised her to end the relationship with her man.

That was a big decision for her to make and when she eventually told him that she could not continue with him, he accused her of having another man. He destroyed some of the things he had given to her. He could not deal with the fact that she left him.

It is unfortunate that your boyfriend try to embarrass you by telling you that he is not large enough, but you knew from experience that he was talking nonsense. I wish you well. I am sure that you would eventually find a man who loves and respects you. Take good care of yourself.

Pastor