Desperate to get pregnant for my boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

This is my first time writing to you, but I always read your column. I buy THE STAR just to read your column.

I have been living with my boyfriend for three years. I got pregnant by him twice, but I lost them. People say it is bad luck. My boyfriend wanted to marry me, but his family told him he should not until I have a baby from him. His mother suggested to me that I should go and look after myself because somebody might have set a curse on me. When I told my mother what she said, my mother told me that I should not listen to nonsense. My doctor told me that it is not unusual for a woman to have two miscarriages. I did not want to be rude to my boyfriend's mother, so when she made the suggestion that I should go and look after myself, I told her that I would consider it. However, my boyfriend told me that we should not spend money that way. We could try again.

I asked my boyfriend if we could still get married although we didn't have children together, but he said that people may consider me to be a mule. He said that he loves me sincerely, but he wants us to have a child together, and that he will not go out and get another woman pregnant. We do not intend to adopt any child because we know that we can have children of our own. Sometimes when I am around my sisters and at family gatherings, I feel jealous when I see them with their children. I will do anything to get pregnant by my boyfriend. My doctor, who is a Christian, told me to be patient, but sometimes it seems to me that time is running out.

I will be looking in THE STAR to hear what you have to say.

E.F.

Dear E.F.,

Your doctor is right; be patient. Your time will come. Don't be over anxious. Your boyfriend's mother means well.

She is eager for you to have a child. She is still a good mother-in-law because she has not been encouraging her son to leave you and go to another woman to prove that he is a man. Some mothers-in-law tell their sons not to waste time, but to go and find other women. But she has not done so. On the other hand, she believes that somebody might have put a curse on you and you will have to get that curse removed. I am glad that your boyfriend does not believe in that nonsense and sees that as wasting money.

Listen to your doctor and do what is right. I hope that your boyfriend will not wait until you get pregnant to marry you. As I close my comments, I will tell you a story that I have told many times. Many years ago, I was asked to officiate at a wedding, and as the groom, who was a Rasta, stood before me with his bride, he started to cry. Even as he said his vows and held his bride's hand, he wept uncontrollably. I could not understand what was happening. So at the end of the ceremony, I asked why was he crying like that. I was told that for many years, he and the lady were living together and she never got pregnant. People called her many names, but he was determined to marry her, and he did - to the shock of his friends who were Rastas.

I wished the couple well and they left. I have good news for you. Very soon after the wedding, he got his woman pregnant and they had a bouncing baby. I consider that man a good man. That is what love will do; true love. So I say to you, don't give up. Take care of your man and he will take care of you.

Pastor