My friend touched my breast during a sleepover

Dear Pastor,

I will be 18 years old very soon. I have something that I would like to share with you.

I have a very close friend; we talk about everything that girls talk about boys. When I celebrated my 17th birthday, she was invited to a little gathering that we had at our house. Just a few close friends were there. She lived out of town, so we told her that she did not have to worry about going home; she could stay with us. She and I were sharing a bed. While I was asleep, this girl put her hand between my thighs and was sucking my breast. I woke up and pushed her away and asked her what she was doing and why she was sucking my breast. She said because I have lovely breasts. I told her that they were not for her.

I was really surprised by what she was doing. I did not know that she was on the 'other side'. I asked her if she had ever done that to any other girl and she said no. It is true that I have lovely breasts and they are a little bigger than what some girls my age have. I do not even have a boyfriend. No one has ever played with my breasts. I did not say anything to anybody; this is the first time I am mentioning it. I still talk to her, but I will not invite her to our house again. She is a very bright girl and there are times that she has helped me with my schoolwork. But she has now caused me to be concerned about her. I am very careful with her now.

She and her sister share the same bed. I asked her if she had ever done that to her younger sister and she said no. Then why did she do it to me? I do not plan to let my mother know what this girl did, but I will never share my room and bed with her again.

O.L.

Dear O.L.,

This young girl lost control of herself. Sometimes girls do admire other girls' breasts, and they make comments such as "You have lovely breasts. I wish mine were as lovely as yours."

But when a girl takes liberty to fondle or suck another girl's breasts, she has gone too far, and whether she knows it or not, she might give the impression that she is not straight. This girl told you that she always admired your breasts. But even if she admires them, she ought not to touch them. You decided that you would not drop her as a friend, but you will not invite her back to your house. I think you believe that she has made a mistake and that you can forgive her. Be on your guard.

In the future, if a friend is staying over, don't share your bed with her. It is better for one to sleep on the couch, on the bed or on the floor.

Pastor