Can’t believe my penis has got smaller

Dear Pastor,

I am 71 years old and I was married twice. When I was 51, my wife and I agreed to part. We could not get along.

She said that I was cheating on her. The truth is, I had a side chick and this girl and my wife were teaching at the same school. She let the puss out of the bag, so my wife found out. One day, the woman and my wife got into an argument and other teachers had to get involved, otherwise they were going to have a big fight over me. I could not deal with it, so my wife decided that she wanted a divorce.

To cut a long story short, I went to a lawyer, who told me that I should offer my wife a certain amount of money. We were building some apartments. My wife demanded that I give her one of them, so that was part of the settlement. She got a three-bedroom apartment and other things. I continued the relationship with the other woman and we got married, but, unfortunately, she died from cancer. My first wife and I get along very well. Sometimes I say to myself, when she asked me for a divorce, I should not have agreed. We have a better relationship now. Even my children talk about how happy they are to see us getting along. We have been having sex as if we are still married.

My main reason for writing to you is because I know I am not the same man I used to be. Even my wife has said that my penis is not the same size. It is shorter. I know it is not as firm, but I am working on that. But I don't understand why it has shrunk. Is that normal? This is such a strange world. I could not believe that my ex-wife and I would be reconciled and find pleasure together in bed once again. But the big problem is the size of my penis; it has become shorter. Overall, it is smaller.

L.O.

Dear L.O.,

You have lost the woman who was your side chick when you were married.

Because of your side chick, your wife and you got divorced and you never thought that your first wife and you would eventually get back together. But the death of your new wife has caused your ex-wife and you to fall in love again. I wonder how many times you have asked your ex-wife to forgive you for your bad behaviour. I have heard people say many times that time heals. If your ex-wife did not forgive you, she would not have agreed to give you another chance, so to speak. Perhaps she always loved you. I hope that you have totally abandoned your foolish ways and that your ex-wife will not be your ex any more. After both of you have gone through a series of counselling sessions, I hope you would tie the knot again.

I do not know if you are overweight, but I do know that obesity can contribute to the shrinkage of a man's penis. You do not need to worry about the size of your penis. Your wife should tell you whether or not she is comfortable with your size. You should discuss your concern with your urologist. You are 71 years old; perhaps you should just be satisfied with what you have. Don't bother to stone me, sir. Just talk to the urologist; his will advice you appropriately.

All the best, dear sir.

Pastor