My sister-in-law is desperate to have a baby

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I must say that I have learnt a lot.

I have one child and I do not plan to have any more right now. I am 23 and my daughter is two years old. When I got pregnant and I told her father that I had missed my period, he said I was careless because he used to always tell me that he could not afford a child now. He said he depended on me to always have the condom handy. I told him that he shouldn't put all the blame on me. But it is true; we did not want to have a child until I was finished with college. But, I don't take all the blame.

Being a mother is challenging, but I love my daughter, and her father loves her, too. This is the first grandchild for my parents, so they are spoiling her. Her father and I get along well and we are hoping to get married. In July 2026, we plan to have one more child. Whenever I say that we should not have more than two children, this man said we will see about that. I told him that if we were to have more than two children, he would have to have one outside, but I don't mean that. I don't want my man to have an outside child. All his money should be spent in our house and not with an outside woman.

I have a brother who is married. He has been trying to get his wife pregnant, but something must be wrong, because he told me that his doctor told him that nothing is wrong with him. His wife is frustrated. Whenever she is around our child, I can see that she is very jealous. My mother told her to wait on the Lord. Something must be wrong with her. Whenever I tell her to wait on the Lord, she says that it is easy for me to say that. My brother is a Christian and he doesn't want to be involved with another woman. His wife's doctor has told her that nothing is wrong with her and that she will eventually become pregnant. What do you think she should do?

E.L.

Dear E.L.,

Your sister-in-law should just follow the doctor's advice. The Bible says, "Be anxious for nothing... let your request be made known unto God."

Many couples are anxious to have children. I have known couples who have been married for many years, and I also know how some women have suffered emotionally and psychologically because other women criticise them, and even call them 'barren' and say they are mules. Many, many years ago, I knew a couple who were married for a long time and they didn't have children, and so people said many unkind things. But it was amazing that when the woman got pregnant with their first child, she got pregnant again soon after, and the babies kept coming.

So I say to you, the good Lord knows what he is doing. Your sister-in-law should just wait on Him. Keep heart.

Pastor