I never have sex without protection

Dear Pastor,

I am 32 years old and I have had sex with many different women. I hear guys talking about how women have passed on sexually transmitted infection (STI) to them, but I have never had that experience.

I have always promised that if a girl does that to me, I would deal with her in a very bad way. I always walk with protection. I have been reading your column for years and I have seen that it is not wise to have condoms in my car or even in my wallet for a long time, because according to what you have written, the heat can help to destroy them.

I had a girlfriend and I had a pack of condoms under my pillow. She asked me why I had the condom there and I told her that I was expecting her, so I wanted to be prepared. She said nothing was wrong with her. She tried to tell me that she loved me and she wanted us to have a child together. I told her I was not ready for that.

This girl has one child. When I told her that she should go to the doctor, she said there was no need. I had sex with her a few times, but I was not comfortable. One day she told me that she was having a fever and it would not go away. I told her to go to the doctor. The doctor told her that she might be suffering from a STI. She told the doctor that it could not be, and the doctor reminded her who the doctor is. Apart from the fever, she had no other symptoms. But one of her sexual partners passed on a sexually transmitted infection to her.

I know I am not perfect. I love sex and I am planning to get married. How can I convince my friends that they should not go to women 'bareback'? My own sister had a STI, and because she did not suffer physical symptoms, she had it for a long time before seeking medical attention. So I hope that people will always listen and read, and protect themselves by using the condom.

M.T.

Dear M.T.,

You have made some good points in your letter. Although you have been very careful how you have conducted yourself, I would urge you not to be careless, and to try and have a check-up every year.

Don't brag about what you have been doing, because although the condom is considered one of the safest methods for couples to use, the condom can also break, and that has happened many times. Remember, the condom is not only to prevent pregnancy; it is to protect you from STIs. According to medical doctors, men who are in their late teens and up to their 50s may get at least one STI; so be very careful.

Pastor