Husband upset I can’t lose the baby weight

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I am the mother of one child. When I was pregnant, I gained some weight, but I was told by friends that I would lose it and come down to my normal size while I breastfeed.

That hasn't happened. I have put on more weight, and my husband is fussing and calling me names. I am ashamed to mention what my husband says about me. He has even threatened to go with other women because he cannot deal with my big fat self.

I told my husband that I can go with other men, because not all men want skinny girls. I told my mother what my husband said and she said that I should not have told him so, because he might be looking for excuses to leave me. I could never walk out on my husband without a cause. He has been a good man to me, but sometimes when I am in bed, the man will not even touch me, and it is hard. He has insulted me so many times when I attempt to make love to him.

My doctor put me on a diet and I am working on myself. One night my husband was sleeping, but I couldn't sleep. I turned the lights on and tried to wake him up. Eventually, he woke up and asked, "What happened?" I told him to look at me and tell me whether he has made up his mind to leave me. He said, "Girl, try and sleep." I turned on the television and started to watch adult movies. I held on to his private parts, and when he saw that I was determined to pull it out, he had sex with me. That is what made me sleep.

How can my husband be so wicked and uncaring? I cannot take off my weight overnight, but I am trying. What do you suggest that I do?

E.B.

Dear E.B.,

Follow the advice of your doctor. You will shed the excess weight if you stick with your diet and your exercise.

So many women gain weight during and after they have given birth. The sad thing about gaining weight is that some women do not make much attempt to lose weight, and they turn off their husbands. Don't make that happen to you. If possible, exercise every day, and, I repeat, stick to your diet.

One last thing. Without going into any explanation, when you are in bed with your husband, learn to help yourself. I say no more.

Pastor