This nine-year relationship is going nowhere

Dear Pastor,

I am a 33-year-old security guard and I have been dating a man for the past nine years.

During that period this man got me pregnant. He lives overseas. Recently, he came to Jamaica to visit me. He funded my education; that is how I completed my studies. This man loves my children like his own; however, I believe he has a problem, or he is trying to hold me back.

When he visited me in 2022, everything was well between us. He proposed to me. He said we should settle down and plan the date for our marriage. A couple of months before the wedding date, he called off the wedding because we had a misunderstanding. I was devastated, because I really love this man and wanted to get married to him. We overcame the problem and the relationship was going well again.

When I thought that everything was okay between us, I decided to apply for a visitor's visa to go to America. The visa was granted. I didn't tell him that I was going to apply for my visa, but when he became aware that I had done so, his attitude towards me changed. We argued every other day over petty things. He decided that he was going to buy me my ticket to visit him, but I found out that he was playing me by sending me a screenshot of information suggesting that he purchased the ticket. It was getting close to the date, so I realised that something was wrong. I called the airline and I found out that no ticket had been bought. I called him and questioned him about it and he became angry.

Anonymous

Dear Writer,

How can you be dating a man for nine years? How often did you see this man?

You should have known that this man was making a fool of you from a long time ago. You should have moved on. You did not have to tell him that you applied for a visa to go to America. But evidently, this man did not want you to visit him if you had got there. I repeat, this man was making a fool of you. Perhaps he has another woman and he did not want you to know where he lives.

You are not married, so if you are in the position to purchase your own ticket, try and do so. You should be able to find a friend with whom you can stay for a week. Ignore this man. End this foolish relationship. Stop communicating with him. You are an adult. Pray and ask God to help you find a good man. Don't lose any sleep over this man. He is a boy, and at your age you should not be looking for a boy, you want a grown man.

I will be praying for you.

Pastor