Board members think my girlfriend is too young

Dear Pastor,

I have an unusual situation to relate to you. I would really like to hear your opinion.

I have been leading a religious organisation for 30 years. I am now 73 years old. My wife has died. I am still very active in the work. I do not even feel my age. About a year ago, I became interested in one of the women in the organisation. She was once married, but her husband died. She is 31 years old. The members of the organisation are not in favour of us going together. They said that she is too young for me, and people would not respect me if I should marry her. We had a board meeting, where the matter was raised, and I lost my cool. I told one of the board members that he should get out of my business and mind his own damn business. That shocked all the members on the board. They asked me to apologise for saying that to the board member, because what he said to me was out of concern. I refused to apologise.

The following day when I saw the young woman and I told her what was said, she did not express surprise. She told me that after the death of her husband, this board member had asked her whether she would consider marrying him, and she told him she was not interested in him. So perhaps he is jealous, now that she is willing to marry me.

Do you feel that I am too old to marry this woman? I am in good health. I am very careful about what I eat. This young woman will be of great help to me in the administrative role of the organisation. The only problem that bothers me a little is driving at nights. If this woman and I are married, she would have to do most of the driving during the night. I would like your opinion very soon.

Elder W.

Dear Elder W.,

I remember vividly, many years ago, when the wife of a certain minister of religion died.

He was not a young man, but he fell in love with a much younger woman. She was very active in the church. The church had a fairly large membership and the members respected him. But they did not care for the young woman. They openly said she was too young for him. But the pastor of the church insisted that he was going to marry her. He told the members how he felt and what he was determined to do. The wedding took place, and that woman became the secretary of the church. As the years went by, the members showed her much respect and love. They saw that the pastor made a good choice. She took care of this man until he died.

You are in a similar situation. You are in love with this lady and, frankly, it is nobody's business if you decide to marry her. The man who told you in the presence of other board members that she is too young for you, should indeed mind his own business. On the other hand, it is unfortunate that you said it in anger. You are not wrong in telling him to get out of your business, but perhaps it is the way you said it.

If you love this woman, marry her, and do it as soon as possible.

Pastor