Ashamed of my wild lifestyle

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you. I am embarrassed to say certain things to you, but I know you will not condemn me.

Although I am only 20 years old, I have not had a good past. I have had many sexual partners; more than 10 of them. Some of these men are in high positions. Some treated me very well and some did not. I tried to change my life but I did not succeed. I am always going back to my old ways.

There was a man who put me up and gave me everything that I needed. He rented an apartment for me. A former boyfriend found out and told the man's significant other, so I had to give up the apartment and leave Jamaica. I did not know that he had got me pregnant when I gave up the apartment, so I left Jamaica carrying his child. But when I told him I was pregnant, he told me not to worry, as he would take care of me, which he did.

I am not happy, because I would love to live a different type of life. Every time I think of the life I lived in the past, it bothers me. I don't know what to do. I cannot speak the truth - I always have to be covering up one lie with another. I don't want anybody to know that I cannot be trusted. The man whose child I carried is still supporting him. He is the best man I have ever had, but he is now married.

B.A.

Dear B.A.,

You are going to have to learn to speak the truth, and you are going to have to put the past behind you.

You have made some very serious mistakes. You are only 20, but you have had approximately 10 men in your life. You should determine to have one man and try to have a stable relationship. I am glad that the man who impregnated you has kept his word and is supporting the child. Unfortunately, the man is now married, but he is supporting the child.

If he has told his wife about the child you shouldn't be worried, because you could always talk to him about the needs of the child. No, I will not condemn you, but you should learn not to lie. As I said before, try and have one man in your life.

Pastor