I trust my husband completely

Dear Pastor,

Next Thursday I will be celebrating my 40th birthday, and the following day I will be married for 10 years.

A friend at work asked me what is my secret to being married for 10 years. I told her it hasn't been a secret - I trust my husband and he trusts me. Soon after I got married, I had to do some overtime at work. My husband and I were in debt because we had spent too much on our wedding. I told my boss that I could not say whether I would be able to do overtime. I had to discuss it with my husband first. He laughed and said, "I thought you were a big woman," and I said, "Of course, I am a big woman, but I am a married woman and my husband expects me home at a certain time." So when I went home, I discussed the matter with my husband and he agreed that I could work the extra hours so we could pay off our debt early.

Recently, my boss was giving a talk to an employee and he mentioned having this conversation with me and how, at first, he thought it was nonsense for someone to say she had to discuss so-and-so with her husband. But he said that the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that it was the right thing to do.

I had a situation where someone told me about seeing my husband with another woman at a certain place. I know that my husband shouldn't be there. This person added that he wasn't there alone; he was there with a young, attractive woman. Right away she drew the conclusion that my husband was unfaithful to me. A few days later, I asked my husband whether he was at a certain place with a woman and he said yes, he was there, and indeed a woman was with him. She was his boss' daughter, and he was there to give her moral support because she was on a job interview and the manager of the company, who he knew, was doing the final interview. So he took her there, walked in with her, greeted his friend and walked out, and that was good enough.

When the person told me about seeing my husband with a young chick, it did not move me at all. I know that there was some good explanation why he was there with the young woman. I have confidence in my man.

Pastor, I am not stupid. I have a friend who always tells me how much she admires my husband. I will never trust her with him, because she is the type of woman who would not wait on her man to ask her for sex, she will ask him. She lives in a beautiful apartment. But most of my friends who went to college with her, know that a 'ton load' of men used to pull her underwear down. She was never broke, and she did not have any shame, either. She graduated but she kept sleeping with other women's husbands. She never got married and never had any children.

Recently when I saw her, she did not look well. She is living a bad life.

N.

Dear N.,

You are quite correct in saying that one has to trust one's spouse.

I do know that there are many who cannot be trusted. But you found a man you could trust, so don't stop doing so. You are not a fool; you don't believe everything that you hear. Some people would make up stories about others. They don't mind their own business.

Your husband will always appreciate you because you are a wise woman. You respect each other. Continue to show your husband much respect. I wish both of you happiness and success. Some women sell their bodies even when they are old and grey. The Mighty Sparrow, in one of his songs, says, "Don't envy anybody for what they have because you never can tell whether they got it from the devil in hell."

Pastor