Girlfriend left me because I LIed about having kids

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 and my girlfriend is 27. We were living together for the past two years and we got along fairly well.

When I met her, I did not tell her the whole truth about myself. I have two children with two different women, but I told her I did not have any children. I lied because when I met her, she told me that she did not want to have any man in her life who has children because she doesn't have any, and she shouldn't be taking care of a man's children. She told me that if I didn't have children, then we could have a relationship.

I later on found out that this woman was a virgin. I couldn't believe that a woman her age was a virgin, but she was. She told me she made a pledge when she was in her teens not to have sex until she was married. She said her mother never had sex until she was married to her father, so she wanted to be like her. Anyhow, after six months of friendship, I was able to convince her to have sex with me. I promised her that I would marry her and we set the date of our wedding.

I started to attend church with her. One night I broke down and cried; my tears were genuine. I asked her what if we got married and she is not a real woman. She said she would not lie to me - she was a virgin. I tried unsuccessfully to pull down her pants. Then I told her I had a confession to make and admitted that I am a father. I thought that it would be too late for her to not want me. She said I should take her home immediately. I drove her home and she got out of the car, slammed the door, and called me a liar. I tried to call her but she would not answer. The following day, she called me and told me that our relationship has ended.

I feel like a real fool. I spoke to her mother and I confessed that I had lied. I asked her to talk to her daughter on my behalf, but she refused. She said that I deceived her daughter. Do you call that deception? This girl has been very nice to me. She has taught me many things. I probably made a mistake by trying to force her to have sex with me in the car, but the bigger mistake was saying that I did not have any children. I am willing to pay you to meet with us. I beg you to try and convince her not to leave me.

Would you be willing to meet with us?

N.J.

Dear N.J.,

I can tell you straight up that I am not willing to meet with you and this woman.

I am not willing to try to convince this young woman to resume the relationship. When you met, she told you that she was not interested in a man who had children, but you lied and told her that you didn't have any, so you deceived her. Many men have done exactly what you did because they were afraid that the women may not get into a relationship with them. Women have also tricked men by telling them that they do not have children.

I knew a man who was living with a woman and I tried my best to encourage him to marry her, but he wouldn't. One day he came to see me and told me that the reason why he refused to marry her was that he took her with two children, at least that is what he thought. She had four children. He supported those children, and then he found out that the woman has a disabled child who was in an institution. He was shocked.

One day, he got a telephone call from a police officer who was advising him that his son had been arrested. He told the police officer "No, my son is right here with me." The policeman asked him, "Are you So-and-so?" and he said yes. The cop said, "Well I am informing you, sir, that your son is arrested and is in custody." This man was shocked. The woman did not tell him which son he had. He did not bail the guy, but his mind changed from the woman and their relationship ended.

So I repeat, men and women lie about not having children. Therefore, how can I beg this young woman to continue to love you, forgive you and marry you? I hope that you would not try to trick another girl.

Pastor