Body is aching for a man

Dear Pastor,

I am 51 and I am living with my daughter and her two children. My daughter is not married, but I am very comfortable living with her.

I was married but my husband passed on. I have a son, and he is living with his girlfriend. He comes to see me very often and he calls me every day. I have a house, but my children encouraged me to rent it and that helps me to support myself. It's a lovely three-bedroom house with helper's quarters. I wanted my son to live there with me, but his girlfriend said that she did not want to live with any mother-in-law, and I told him that he should not fuss over that. So he and his sister encouraged me to rent the house to a very lovely couple. So, each month, the house brings in $100,000.

Sometimes I feel that I would marry again. I told my daughter and she said 'Mama, keep yourself quiet'. But at times my private parts jump and I know that is happening to me because I need a man. I told an older friend who attends the same church as me, and she said that happens to her sometimes, but she has ways of helping herself. I cannot say that to my children. Neither of them can give me what I want when it comes to the role a man would play in my life. But they take very good care of me.

I have nearly $3 million saved. My children do not harass me for money. I give my daughter money to buy groceries. My son has insurance for me. Sometimes I ask him if he is keeping up with the payment and he says yes. Sometimes I give him money to help with the payments. He doesn't always take it; he tells me to save my money. They are such lovely children.

My grandchildren's father is away. I have been telling my daughter that she should not give up on him. She is hoping that he will come back and marry her, but he has been away for nearly two years. She doesn't have any man in her life. But she suspects that the children's father had a woman in America.

I am not looking for anybody. I am happy, but I will not lie to you, sometimes I feel for a man. What is your advice?

T.F.

Dear T.F.,

You have said that you are a happy woman. You have your own property, and your children have encouraged you to leave there and rent the property.

You enjoy living with your daughter. I hope that you do not hold anything against your son's woman. She was not willing to have you live in the same house. She did not want to live with a mother-in-law. You know that some mothers-in-law often try to control their daughters-in-law. They tell them what to do and how they should treat their husbands. So, some daughters-in-law prefer to live by themselves in their own homes. Some sons are very close to their mothers, and they would rather listen to their mothers than their wives. Sons often say that they can get another wife, but they can't get another mother. So regardless how close they are to their wives and how much they love them, they put their mothers first.

Your son has been very good to you. He calls you every day. He doesn't ask you for any money although he knows that you get an income from renting your house. Your daughter is also a marvellous girl, and I am glad that you give her money to go to the supermarket. You are very fortunate to have them as children.

Concerning this problem of wanting a man. You miss your husband and the truth is, your body is not dead. I have spoken to women who have had similar problems. They have told me exactly what you said. That part of their body jumps, and it is commonly believed that it is an indication for you to have sex. I am not a medical doctor, so I don't know. Perhaps when you to go see your doctor, particularly your gynaecologist, you may want to discuss that. But I hope that you would not be tempted to call any man because you are so thirsty for sex. I know years ago, one lady told me that whenever that happened to her, she has to beat her vagina and tell it "Behave yourself, behave yourself".

It seems to me that you have to ask the good Lord to keep your body under control.

Pastor