Cousin tried to ‘touch me’

Dear Pastor,

I am a 15-year-old girl and I am living at home with my parents and my brother.

I do not have my own bedroom, but I have my own bed. My brother and I share the same room, but he has his own bed. A cousin came to spend the weekend with us and he and my brother slept on my brother's bed. We were all in the living room watching television until I felt sleepy and went to bed.

While I was asleep, I felt someone touching me and pushing their hands up my nightgown. I brushed the hands away and I finally woke up and realised that it was my cousin who was feeling me up. My brother was still asleep. My cousin tried to get me to keep quiet but I refused, and I woke up my brother and told him what our cousin was doing. My brother was so angry that he told him to get off his bed and go and sleep in the living room. He also told him that he was going to tell our parents. Then my brother turned on me and asked me why I did not put on pajamas because I have so many of them. I told him I did not think of it, and I couldn't imagine that our cousin would try to get involved with me.

In the morning, our cousin got dressed and told my parents that he was leaving. He made up an excuse why he had to leave. My brother and I said nothing, but my brother warned him and told him never to come back to our house. Since then he has apologised for what he did, and he has tried to talk to me many times.

I have never had sex and I wouldn't want to give my virginity to my cousin. He has begged me not to tell anybody what happened on that night. So my mother and father do not know the truth about why he left.

N.S.

Dear N.S.,

Your brother considered you to be a little careless; he felt that you should have been wearing pajamas because your male cousin was spending the night in the same room.

But your cousin was very out of order. He had no right to be trying to feel you up while you were sleeping on your bed. He should have been asked to leave the same night. If you had allowed him to have his way with you, he would have had sex with you.

I doubt very much that he will ever come back to the house, and if he does, he would not attempt to molest you. I am glad that you were not molested, and I thank you for sharing.

Pastor