65 and feel the need for a man

Dear Pastor,

I have never met you, but I always listen to you on the radio and long before I heard you on the radio, I was reading your column.

I have never been married and I do not have children. But I have raised nieces and nephews. I have one sister and she has four children and she was married. Her husband did not treat her well. He was a very jealous man. Members of my family encouraged her to leave him so she did. I raised two of her children.

I am a teacher. I am 65 years old. I had my problems with men but I told myself I can do without them. Now these children I took as my own are gone and I am left in this four-bedroom house. I have taken in boarders, but I do not want to do that any more. I am very active in my church and I am trying to understand why I find it more difficult to be alone.

My nephew talks to me as if I am his mother. He is very mature. I told him that I was looking for a husband and he said not at my age. No man is going to come into this house and push me around. But I have never told him that sometimes I feel the need for sex and love. Sometimes it is like I am going crazy and I have to hold myself down by talking to myself. Other women my age and older tell me the same thing; some of them have children but their children are gone.

When I was a young girl, I thought that when a woman reaches a certain age, the feelings for intimacy disappears. I am engaged in a lot of social work. I receive my pension and social security. I am not in debt. I am not writing this letter because I need a man. Kindly do not give my contact to any man. I just want to thank you for being so understanding to people; young and old.

I miss not having children of my own. I always like to be around children. I don't have to worry about what it is to eat or drink and I do not have to get up early any more. People tell me I don't look my age and the doctor says that I am in good health. I am so glad that I could write to you. I will continue to listen to you and to read your very interesting column.

E.M.

Dear E.M.,

I thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. You have done very well in life.

You have made a good contribution to society at large as a teacher and as a mother, although those children were not yours biologically. Let me tell you, you are going to feel the need for a companion until you die. To put it bluntly, your sexual desires will always be with you because you are only 65. What many people do not know is that a women can receive sexual desires or urges even into their 90s. Yes, that is what I am saying.

I knew a man who was in his 80s and he got married to a woman who was also in her 80s. They got along fine but after a while, his children had to step in and put them in a nursing home because they were not able to care for each other. They were enjoying each other's company and as they aged, they enjoyed the pleasure that sex brought to them. But they needed help to get around and to take care of each other.

Your nephew has promised to be with you and support you. He doesn't fully understand that you need more than that. Be careful who you allow to be around your house; there are many wicked individuals who are looking to take disadvantage of seniors. One can describe them as rats, so protect yourself and let me hear from you again. Continue to do social work and enjoy your life.

Pastor