Cheating boyfriend gave me three STIs

Dear Pastor,

I have always tried to read your column. I am 25 years old and a mother of two children, a boy and a girl.

I have been in a relationship with the father of one of my children. I gave him his first and only child. My first child is from a past relationship. I have had opportunities to cheat on this man, but I didn't because I wanted things to work between us and for us to build a good life together, especially when I thought of what happened in my first relationship. He promised that everything wouldn't be the same and that he was different.

This man keeps in touch with all of his ex-girlfriends. He lives in a family home. I have my own home in a different community. I didn't meet his relatives until I was discharged from the hospital after giving birth to his child. Sometime later, his sister started to argue about everything and even when he was around, he did not say anything. He only asked me to go home. She claims to be a Christian, but she criticises me behind my back. She said that I should get a job to look after my child. She spoke as if I was a problem to her brother because he had to provide food for me when I was there.

I found a job and he provided transportation for me. He would leave me in my bed when his phone rang or he would not come home when I was at his house. Last December I found out why. He claimed that he was working overtime. Sometimes we only had sex twice per month because he said he was tired. He gave me an STI three times and when I spoke to him about it, he said all men are dogs. I have never tried to stress him for anything much. He has never even bought me underwear, but he has bought for other women.

In January, I found out that he was trying to have a relationship with another woman who lives in the same yard. I was angry, and I said things and threatened them both. That day his mother chased me out of the home, and he threatened that he was going to leave me. His child became ill and he only came to see us for a short period. He got a message and claimed he had to leave.

To my understanding, the house his sister argued with me about was the same house he brought his ex-girlfriend to, and he is still trying to get to the lady who lives in the yard. Now he is saying that I am ungrateful. His mother became ill, and he wants me to give him our child to live with him. I told him that I will not be able to give him my daughter because he has many women coming to the house. He has not been giving our child anything much, but he is able to give things to his women. I will not be going back to his house. Please help me.

M.

Dear M.,

When you realised that through this man you had got an STI, and he told you that all men are dogs, you should have ended the relationship with him immediately.

I have heard women say that men are dogs, but I consider it unusual for a man to tell a woman that he can do anything because men are dogs. In recent times, I have heard men greet each other as 'Dog', but have you ever considered to whom do the dogs go? You had enough time and opportunity to end the relationship with this man. I suppose you have now made up your mind, according to what you have written. So all I can say is that I wish you well and you have my prayers.

Pastor