Don’t want my fiancé to stray

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 and I am engaged to a man who is 25. If everything goes well, we should get married in August.

I am a Christian, but he is not. He told me he cannot be a Christian until after he is married and he has to settle down with me. I asked him if that means that when he goes out with his friends, he is having an affair with the females. He said that they all know that he is engaged to me, so nothing has happened. But he cannot rule out that something may happen because some girls don't care whether the man is engaged, married or single. If they want you, they will come after you. Some girls will offer themselves to you because it has happened to him a number of times before meeting me.

Since we have been engaged, we spend a lot of time together and it is affecting my schoolwork because I am attending college. He assists me sometimes, but it is hard because he cannot keep his hands off me and we end up having sex. Although we spend lots of time together, we don't go out on dates a lot because going out is costly and it takes up a lot of time.

My boyfriend is very understanding, but he turns on the pressure on me whenever he wants to have sex and I can always read his mind saying "Alright, if I can't get it from you, I will get it from other women." I do not want to get pregnant, so I am trying very hard to protect myself. I will be graduating soon and I am looking forward to that.

H.J.

Dear H.J.,

Continue to be very careful. You have an aim and that aim is to do well in college and to graduate.

An education is the best way forward. A girl could live without a boyfriend, but she needs her education. She needs to get good grades. I tell young people all the time that their grades will follow them for the rest of their lives. Even sometimes when a person is seeking a job, employers are asking for some things that they never used to ask for in years gone by. They would secretly follow you on social media even before calling you for a second interview. So be careful what you say and do.

People sometimes will know much more about you, such as with whom you hang out or where you hang out. They may judge you by the company you keep. Some folks may foolishly say it is not the business of others to know where you go and with whom. But don't be a fool; you need to be careful about what you do in your social life.

I want to wish you well as you study and as you plan to get married. Take good care of yourself.

Pastor