My boyfriend doesn’t trust women because of his ex

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old and my boyfriend has proposed to me. We have been together for three years.

I was hoping that we would have got married two years ago, but he has only recently made up his mind to marry me. He used to have a girlfriend, but they broke up. He could not trust her. She was always going out with different men and saying that she was out on the company's business. But he found out from her co-workers that the company was not always sending her on business.

He hired a private detective to watch her, and the detective reported to him that his girlfriend was out with a man and he had pictures of him. This man was her sister's husband. He was shocked and he sent the pictures to her sister. It caused the family to hate her. Her sister and her husband separated for some time, but now they are back together. So the relationship between my current boyfriend and this girl ended. My boyfriend told me that he was not eager to get married, but I have proven to be a good girl.

I have a job. I don't have to rely on my boyfriend for anything. I do not have children, but I am eager to get pregnant. This girl got pregnant and had an abortion. After my boyfriend found out that she was cheating, she admitted that she had an abortion.

My father bought two pieces of land; one for me and one for my brother. As soon as I get married, my husband and I are hoping to build on the land. My father is a builder, so he will assist us. My boyfriend still talks about what women have done to him, so he does not fully trust women. What can I do to help him to regain trust in women?

Y.M.

Dear Y.M.,

You have not done your boyfriend any wrong, but you will have to understand that despite that, other women have hurt him and it takes a long time for a man to rebuild trust.

Something must have gone wrong why these women all cheated on the man you now call your boyfriend. I know it is not unusual for some women to have more than one boyfriend, as one boyfriend is not enough for them. I hope that you will be loyal to your man. I hope that you will indeed be able to become pregnant soon after you are married.

Your father gave you a piece of land and has promised to assist your husband and you to build a house on that land. I hope that you will not have a lavish wedding that would take away much of your money. I hope that your boyfriend will take good care of you and that you will take good care of him. I wish both of you well.

Pastor