Dad heard me having phone sex

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I have been fortunate to have a good job. I am the only child for my parents, so they were able to send me to high school.

I was also fortunate to attend college. I wanted to do hotel management, but my father said that if the industry is in trouble, I would be among the first to be fired. He was not convinced that the industry was stable enough for me to make a career of it. So I went into another field and I am very happy today. Being the only child has its advantages and disadvantages. My parents gave me whatever I needed. When my mother was upset with me, she called me lazy, because I was not very tidy. She always told me that I should keep my room tidy because I may become ill and people may have to visit the home. I had to learn to cook, because by the time I was 18, my mother told me that the only person she was responsible for was my father and he enjoyed cooking.

My boyfriend wants us to get married, but he is not interested in having children. I asked him what sense it would be for us to get married and not have children. He comes from a very small family. His parents only had three children. I would love for us to have four children. He would like us to get married before the end of 2025. I told him that it wouldn't matter to me when we get married if he does not intend to get me pregnant. I don't want to hear people calling me barren, so I would love to have a couple of children. He told me that we can adopt.

Almost every night I dream that he has me in his arms and I am carrying on like we are married people. He lives alone. One night he and I were having phone sex. I thought my father was asleep, but he heard everything I was saying. The following day, my father asked me if my boyfriend was with me and I said no. He said, "Well, what in the world was I hearing?" I said, "What daddy?" He said, "I heard what you were telling him to do." I was ashamed. My father related everything I was saying to my boyfriend. He said if I am having these types of problems, I might as well get married and face up to it.

Since then, I have gone over the crazy things that I have said to my boyfriend in my mind. Now, I am eager to get married. I wonder if that was the only time my father heard me having phone sex with my boyfriend.

N.T.

Dear N.T.,

A couple years ago, two women came to see me. Both of them professed to be Christians.

One was married and one was a spinster. The spinster related her problems to me, but wanted her friend to hear what she was saying. She had a boyfriend and he was not prepared to get married. But he constantly woke her at nights to have phone sex and she constantly agreed. He always promised her that he would soon be ready to get married. She got fed up of the phone sex, so she told him she was ready to be married, and if he was not, they might as well end the relationship.

`Your boyfriend told you that he was not yet ready to be married. You shouldn't try to force him; but although he says he is not ready, he enjoys having phone sex with you. Now that you have given away yourself and you were so loud in doing so, your farther knows your inner thoughts. So he is encouraging you to get married. I think your father is correct in encouraging you to get married. I agree with him.

Pastor