Would give anything to have a child for my husband

Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you. My husband and I are both 25 years old. My husband has two children. He tells me all the time not to worry because if I don't have children, he wouldn't love me less than he loves me now. I would give my heart out just to have a child for this man. His children call me Mommy. Why is it so many women don't want to have children, yet so many of us are dying to have even one?

One of my sisters wanted me to adopt one of her children. I was in favour of it, but my husband did not agree. He said that we did not have to adopt children when he already has two. Two children are more than enough, but we could do with another.

I have never cheated on my husband, but at the beginning of this year, we were in bed and he asked me what I want for this year. I said the usual, for him to get me pregnant. He said he has tried and nothing has happened, so to get a child I might have to cheat. I started to cry because I did not expect him to say that to me. It took a whole day for that man to console me and to get me to believe that he did not mean what he said. If he should ever cheat on me, I would never forgive him. I don't expect him to cheat on me, because I have given him my all. So I should just do what he has always told me to do - just enjoy each other and leave everything in God's hand.

R.M.

Dear R.M.,

I once spent a wonderful weekend with a white couple in Tennessee. The man was a pastor. His wife and he were very much involved in music.

They had one child. They told me that after they had that child, they did not do anything; they did not use contraceptives, nothing - they just enjoyed life. But his wife never got pregnant again. Just one child the good Lord considered for them. They would have loved to have more children, but the good Lord didn't want them to have any more.

What I am trying to say is, the good Lord may give persons children if he sees it fit, and not necessarily what desire they have in their heart. A couple should accept what he gives to them.

Pastor