Ready to marry my high school sweetheart

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and just out of university. My boyfriend is 20 years old. We have been friends for three years. Our relationship started when we were in high school. It has grown into a serious relationship. We used to just play around, but things have changed. One reason for that is because I have become a Christian and I would like to get married. If we were to get married, we plan to migrate and do further studies in North America.

My fiance is a good man, but my father told me that I should not separate myself from my husband for any long period. My parents are fortunate to be together. I say 'fortunate' because my dad and mother separated for about a year and it almost caused the break-up of the union. My father was unfaithful to my mother during the one-year period. It took lots of begging and counselling for my mother to forgive my dad. Fortunately, no child was involved. My mother said she wouldn't have forgiven him if he had got the young lady with whom he was involved pregnant.

My fiance wants us to get married, and I would like for it to happen before I am 20 years old. We plan to have two children, just like our parents.

F.A.

Dear F.A.,

You expressed how eager you and your fiance feel about getting married. You wish also to follow the advice of your dad. I want you to know that I understand the situation. I also want to say to you that although your dad and mother almost broke up because of his infidelity, it did not get to that stage. You do not have to push yourself to that extent, because the both of you are young and are wiser.

Please do not believe that I am insulting your parents, I am not. You should be able to handle a relationship and not rush into marriage right away. However, if you feel that you are unable to remain apart from each other, do exactly what the Bible says. The Bible says it is better to get married than to burn with passion. I wish both of you well. Let me hear from you again.

Pastor