Where have all the good men gone?

Dear Pastor,

I am 42 years old and I am in my second marriage. My first husband was very jealous, but he was a good man. I could not stand his jealousy and one day he threatened me and told me that he would find ways to destroy me and the man I was seeing. That was enough for me to pack what I had in the house.

One day when he was gone to work, I arranged for a truck to move what I owned in the house and when he returned, the house was empty. I thought he would try to find me, but he didn't. I had people watching to see what his reaction was. Two of our neighbours told me that when he came and saw the empty house, he laughed and carried on. He shouted, "I am free!"

Now, I am married and my new husband is very mean. He watches every cent. The man has given me money to go to the supermarket, and when I returned, I had to count out everything and showed him how the money was spent and then he asked me for the change, so he can go and buy cigarette.

Marriage is not for me. I have to be free. Where have all the good men gone? Those who are not smoking the ganja or the cigarettes are gambling and drinking. They say all the good men are in prison or dead. My present husband lies so much. One time he gave a funeral announcement. He told us that his mother was dead and he needed help to take care of her funeral. However, nothing went like that.

What do you suggest I should do with this man now?

R.S

Dear R.S.,

Are you working? Save your money. Don't rely on this man to pay for everything. If he is so mean to you, don't allow him to spend for everything in the house. Whenever he gives you money for the supermarket you should try and contribute a portion. In other words, if he gives you 50 per cent, you should put the other 50 cent so that you would not have to explain to him how you spend the money. I hope you understand what I am saying.

There are still good men around, it is just that you have not found a good one. You are 42 years old, so it would be up to you whether you want to decide to look around again for a new man. I am not, however, encouraging you to do so.

Pastor