My girlfriend tells too many lies

Dear Pastor,

I am a 32-year-old man. I was living with my girlfriend for a year, but we broke up less than a month ago, because she is a liar.

The first time she lied to me was about the community in which she was born. She also told me that she has only one child, but I found out that she has three children. When I asked her why she had to lie, she said that I would not have accepted her if I had known that she has three children. I told her that she is quite correct, I do not want a woman, who was never married, with three children because I don't have any, and I don't intend to have more than two.

I stopped sleeping with her and told her to prepare to leave. She got down on her knees and begged me to allow her to stay. I told her that I couldn't put up with a lying woman. She deceived me, and a deceiver is a killer. This woman is so pretty. I do not understand why she felt she had to lie to get a man.

After I stopped eating from her, she realised that I was serious and that I wanted her out of my house. I treated her as a queen because of her beauty. Now, I find myself not able to trust women. I have read your column and I know exactly what you are going to say. You are going to say that all women are not the same, so I should not judge every woman the same way. But I asked this woman when she was planning to tell me that she has three children, and she could not give me a straight answer.

This is not the first time I have had to chase a woman away. I lived with a young woman who stole my money and blamed it on my sister, who was also living at the house. I found out that she was the one who stole the money because she wanted to buy false hair. I was paying for her to go to evening school, but instead of attending school in the afternoon, she was running around with her friends. So, I left her. In fact, I put her out. So, this is why it is hard for me to trust women.

T.S.

Dear T.S.,

Let me begin by saying I wish you well and that I hope the day will come when you would find a truthful woman you can marry.

Your recent girlfriend behaved as a fool. She is not responsible for where she was born, so she should not lie about that. It doesn't matter where you were born. Whether you were born in the ghetto or in deep rural Jamaica, you can shine and become someone who would make a tremendous contribution to society. What a person needs to have is ambition, and to study hard and get a good education. No one would be able to push them around in society. This girl needs to know that no one can trust a liar. Some people say that a liar is worse than a thief. I believe that they go hand in hand.

I have known men who have become intimate with women who have had many children. As I respond to this letter, I am thinking about a dear friend who married a woman who has six children who love him. But there are men who would not marry a woman if she has even one child. They have their reasons. Of course, we know that some children are very disrespectful to stepfathers; and the stepfathers cannot even correct them on any matter. But the mothers should be blamed when children don't have respect for their stepfathers. You asked this woman to go because she did not tell you the truth. I must say to you, you did the right thing.

Pastor