Girlfriend spending too much time with her ex

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for many years and I thank you for your guidance.

I have been with my girlfriend for more than a year and I need your opinion. She broke up with her first partner whom she was with for nine years. Then she waited for a year before starting a relationship with me. Recently, she got baptised and we decided that we would remain celibate, but live together once we are married. Due to circumstances which I explained to her before we started the relationship, I'll be unable to marry her within the next one to two years, and she was okay with waiting. We attend different churches, so I had advised her that we could do Bible study together; however, it is best to seek spiritual guidance from her church leaders, who are filled with the Holy Spirit.

My issue is, she stated that she is not close to anyone at her church and she will seek guidance from her ex. He had studied the Bible; however, he does not attend church. I am not comfortable with that, because he may use that as a way to spend time with her and win her back. I explained my feelings to her; however, she said that she is not interested in a relationship with him any more and he has already accepted that he lost her. I trust her enough; but this guy has been trying to get back with her every chance he gets until a few months ago. She thinks highly of him and believes she can turn to him to have anything explained to her. She also believes it is better to do Bible study with him than me, because he will explain everything easier to her.

I trust her; however, I don't feel comfortable with the relationship she wants with her ex. I don't want to allow it. She said that until we are married, she is prepared to do anything to grow with God, because she wants God more than me. I appreciate and look forward to your feedback on the matter. I will share the feedback with her.

R.M.

Dear R.M.,

If this young man knows the Bible so much, how is it that he is not attending church?

And how come you are so blind that you cannot see that this young man is happy to be with your girl under the guise that they are having Bible study together? She wants to be with him also, and she does not respect you. It is evident that she would rather be with him than you. She is making a fool of you. So, end the relationship with this young woman. She has no respect for you; and she has already told you that you cannot tell her what to do because both of you are not yet married. She is out of order. You ought not to trust her. That is how I see it.

Pastor