My husband is a sex addict

Dear Pastor,

I am 26 and I was a virgin until I was 25. I married the man who took my virginity. He is 32.

When we met, he told me that he had never kept one girlfriend; he always had two or three simultaneously.

He used to tell each one that she is not the only one in his life. I told him he was too wild for me. He said I should give him a chance and he would change.

He was living alone so I told him that because he had other girlfriends, I did not want to visit him at his apartment, because people would think that I am just like the other girls.

So during the first six months of the relationship, I did not go to his house.

One day I went to his apartment when he was expecting me. I could not resist him, so I had sex for the first time.

We planned our wedding a few months after but while we were planning, one of his girlfriends was giving him lots of trouble.

She found out where I was living and she got my cell number and called me. She told me that I should leave her man alone and that I am not nice enough for him.

He told her that if she didn't leave me alone, he would beat her up. When he stopped giving her money, that made it worse.

She told me that I can keep him and he would sex me out and come back to her.

I am married to this man, but he is crazy when it comes to the bedroom business. I try to do everything to please him, but he always wants more.

He taught me how to do things that I never thought I would do with a man. Some I like and some I don't like. Even those I don't like, I still perform or let him have his way to satisfy him.

On our first wedding anniversary, he said we should do something different. Although we are living in a nice place, he booked us in a hotel room.

He told the people at the front desk which room he wanted. I figured out that was one of his favourite rooms in the hotel. He ordered room service. Then he taught me how to do '69'.

It was difficult for me being a Christian girl. We spent all night at the hotel until 10 a.m. the following day. All this man wanted was sex.

This man would have sex with me two and three times for the night; I don't know if this is normal. Sometimes I could hardly cope.

Sometimes when I resist him a little, he asked me if I want him to go back to one of his old girls. I could never allow him to go back. He treats me very well. I am not in need of anything.

I just want him to remember that I am here and he cannot finish me. The way he behaves it's as if I am running away.

E.O.

Dear E.O.,

Try your best to cope with this man. He has dropped all the other girls that he had and has married you.

I am sure you have come to realise that he loves to have sex and he loves to explore new positions. They are not new to him, but they are new to you.

What he needs to learn is that he should not try to overdo a good thing. You are correct; he cannot finish sex.

Unless you die suddenly or became gravely ill, you will always be available to him.

I am sorry to hear that he has threatened that if you do not comply with his requests, he would go to other women.

He probably doesn't mean what he says, but he is only trying to get you to do what he wants you to do.

Ignore his past girlfriends, especially the one who took pleasure in cursing you.

Pastor