HIV-positive and sleeping with many men

Dear Pastor,

I know when my boyfriend has sex with another woman. His 'juice' is like water. It is not rich. It is very light; but he cannot know when I have sex with other men. I cheat on him all the time.

My mother and father were very poor, and because of that, they were unable to send me to school. My mother died in 1985, and my father died in 1989. My aunt took me to live with her. She has four sons, and all her sons had sex with me. They destroyed my life while I was living with them. Now, I have HIV. That is my life.

R.

Dear R.,

I am very sorry to hear that you have contracted HIV. I hope that you would follow your doctor's advice and continue to take your medication. You say that you are having sex with other men apart from the man with whom you live. I hope you are not having unprotected sex. If you are, you should know that what you are doing is very wrong. In fact, it is wickedness. These men are not aware that you are an HIV victim, so please, desist from having unprotected sex with them if that is what you are doing.

Now, to the man with whom you are living, is he aware that you are HIV-positive? He trusts you, so you should tell him so that he will know exactly what to do. You should encourage him to go to the doctor. In fact, you should not just tell him to go, you should accompany him to see the doctor.

I beg you, do what is right. According to you, you know when your boyfriend has played around. I want you to know that I understand what you are trying to say. You have experience, but can you imagine that if your boyfriend is promiscuous and he is HIV-positive, too, and going to different women and that these women would be affected, too? May God have mercy on all those who are just going around and having sex and not protecting themselves.

I am sorry to know that you were sexually abused after the death of your parents. What happened to you should not have occurred right in your aunt's house. She did not try to protect you as a girl, and so you were ravished by her sons. May the Good Lord help you.

If you get your medication and stay on them, you can still make a good contribution to society. I know at times you would feel depressed, but don't give up on life. And, please, tell the young man that you consider to be your boyfriend that you are HIV-positive so that he can get help.

Pastor